Stories of the completely average

Tuesday's Tid Bits

2011-06-28T10:19:00.000-06:00

Firsts. Here's a little questionnaire about firsts that I stole from another blog I read. I thought today I'd copy it here and make it my own. Here it goes!

1. Who was your first prom date?

Where I grew up there actually isn't any such thing as 'prom'. We had seasonal dances and then grads from different schools. Our first really serious coupling of boys and girls was 8th grade graduation. It's the end of middle school before you move on to High School. It's kinda a big deal, if you know what I'm saying. Anyways, the peer pressure to have a 'date' is absolutely ridiculous and our whole gang was basically pressured into going to the dance with the male/female we most resembled. Weird, right? Like why do you want to date someone that looks related to you? Anyways, based solely on height (I shit you not. We were the tallest girl/tallest boy in 8th grade) Robbie Hoffman and I were matched by our friends. We danced together a few times and since I had a huge crush on him and we'd "dated" the year before, it was pretty fun. For my anyways. However, I very vivdly remember having an intentsely intimate slow dance with a guy I was close friends with name Mike Kirkly. I knew he'd always kinda had a thing for me but the way he danced with me was really impressive. He's now married to a woman that looks almost identical to how I looked in 8th grade. Not even joking.

2. Who was your first roommate?

Miss Tessa Lee Majoram! She's my sorority sister and her mom moved away and left her this huge house in a very posh neighbourhood. I moved in to her basement suite alone. For 2 weeks. And then my boyfriend (now husband) moved in with me. It was a pretty good arrangement overall. There were the usual scruffs over dirty dishes and whatnot but really it was great. We're still very close friends.

3. What was your first alcoholic beverage?

Mike's Hard Lemonade. To this day I cannot even handle the slightest whiff of its scent without wanting to hurl my stomach contents. *gag* I also still can't drink vodka in anything.

4. What was your first job?

McDonalds! I worked there for 4 years believe it or not. Even got the McDonalds scholarship when I quit to start University. I seriously learned all the most important things about customer service while I was there and still use their training model when I'm teaching my assistants. Oh, and I ate there every. single. day. And I'm fine. Supersize me, my ass.
5. What was your first car?

A 1990 Ford Tempo. My mom gave it to me as soon as I got my license (I know, spoiled only child!) but it was a piece of shit. It did teach me all about how to recognize the signs of just about everythign that can possibly go wrong in a vehicle. Don't tell me it's not a transmission problem! I can feel it!
6. When did you go to your first funeral?

I've been to many, many, MANY funerals. And 3 weddings. Pathetic, eh?
7. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown?

Pfftt! I moved 13 times before age 10. BUT from age 10 to 20 I lived in the same place. I moved away for a year and then when my husband and I bought our house, we came back to our hometown.

8. Who was your first grade teacher?

I moved in the middle of the school year in first grade, but the second half was spent in Edmonton with Mrs. Kennedy. My mom picked me up for lunch the first day and we went to Boston Pizza. She slipped in the icy parking lot and broke her leg in two places. Not a fond memory.9. Where did you go on your first airplane ride?

9. Where did you take your first airplane ride?

I don't know, my mom moved around a lot. I was just an infant for sure the first time. For the first vacation we went to Hawaii the Christmas I was 3 years old. I broke my arm the second day there. Ha! There's a theme here....
10. When you snuck sneaked out of your house for the first time, who was it with?

We used to sneak out a lot. I was usually with my best friend Elle, and myother friend Taya and her sister Kimberly. We'd pretend to camp in my backyard and then run all over town doing god knows what.
11. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them?

Elle was my best friend for ages and ages but we're not as good of friends any more. She was the maid of honor at my wedding and we had a major falling out following that fiasco. We patched thigns up but it will never be the same.

12. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents’ house?

In a house with my sorority sister. See question #2.

13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?

I call my mom and text my husband. My husband is usually working and can't talk on the phone.
14. Whose wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsman?

My best friend Kendall just got married in Mexico in March and I was a bridesmaid. It was soooo much fun. Now she's pregnant and I can't wait to be an auntie!
15. What is the first thing you do in the morning?

Listen to see if the baby is awake or if I have time to cram in a shower to at least wash my freakin hair.

16. What was the first concert you attended?
Backstreet Boys! There was a group of 7 of us girls that went. I was the only one who's parent insisted on accompanying. So 7 best friends. Plus my mom. Good thing everyone loves my mom.

17. First tattoo or piercing?

I got a tramp stamp at 19 years old. It's an asiatic lily on the small of my back. It's still beautiful.

18. First celebrity crush?

Jonathan Brandis. I used to love the movie Sidekicks when I was like 9. I found out a few years ago that he later committed suicide. Sad.

19. First crush?

Robbie Hoffman. Now called just 'Rob'. See question #1.
20. First real love?

I'd probably say the guy I dated before my husband. At the time I definitely thought it was the real thing. Not so much now though.

What are some of your firsts?

Monday's Madness

2011-06-27T11:00:00.000-06:00

I totally fell off the wagon this past weekend.

Friday I didn't go to work. I was so overtired from the weekend before and staying up too late on most of the weeknights that I just couldn't cut it. I got up and took Braden to the dayhome and the proceeded to go back to bed. And I laid in bed THE ENTIRE DAY! I got up briefly around late morning to eat numerous cinnamon buns as well as half a bag of potato chips. Then I went back to bed. I slept and watched movies for about 8 hours. I didn't even really feel rested once I finally did get up. Despite the fact that I didn't go to work, I still went out with Tara that night to go see Bridesmaids. Finally. It was pretty hilarious, we both really enjoyed it.

Saturday I spend the day hanging out with Braden. He had his first class of the summer at The Little Gym. He had classes there from September to January but then I didn't sign him up for the Spring since I was so busy with my courses. But now he's back in it and loves it even more. He's a bit out of the routine though, he just ran around the gym like a crazy person for the most part.

When Braden took a nap in the afternoon I did about a bazillion loads of laundry and cleaned up the kitchen. My husband had to work all day Saturday so I was trying to get as many chore type items done as possible. Sunday we took Braden to Stir Crazy to help him burn off some energy since it was raining outside. We all had fun climbing through the tunnels and down the slides.

So basically I had a really domestic kind of weekend. Didn't stay even close to my diet plan and definitely didn't hit the gym. I don't know if I will be able to make it to the gym at all this weekend either since my husband is going to working nights. Hopefully I can take Braden to the childcare centre at the gym and he won't lose his marbles and make the workers come run and find me.

Thursday's Thoughts - Setting Goals

2011-06-23T12:00:00.000-06:00

So recently I've been all obsessed about getting fit and going to the gym as much as possible like a crazy person and not letting myself fall off the fit wagon. It's been good. I've really enjoyed how just a little bit of exercise has improved some pretty important parts of my life. For instance, I usually have really brutal PMS. Like, I'm gonna rip my husband's head off the instance he opens his mouth, all I want to do is sleep and cry... and eat. And life means nothing and I just want to crawl in a hole in die. This time around, when that part of my cycle came around, I was going to the gym every other day. I noticed I had a lot more energy, my cravings weren't a fraction of what they usually are and my husband could actually talk to me without facing off with my evil twin. My moods were just better. Like all around my outlook on life was just cheerier and more optimistic.

Secondly, my outlook on myself has been a lot more positive. I automatically feel better about my body and my self-image the moment I step into the gym. I know I'm doing pretty great and I know I'm going to get even better. My confidence has really received a big lift. I'm really going to try to keep my fitness goals on my radar and sustain my gym routine and continually be trying to keep my best diet habits in mind.

Now that I feel I have that fitness goal under control, I've been thinking about other areas of my life. I'm already enrolled in two classes for next fall and winter to work towards my degree program. There are also 3 Continuing Education classes I need to take to finish my Financial Planning certificate. Completing FIVE courses while working full-time and taking care of my two year old son by myself while my husband works out of town for months on end, and do well in all these courses, is asking a lot. I can feel my stress level rise just thinking about it. I only did 3 courses last year in the same time period and it almost killed me. I really don't think taking on more than that is a good idea. I discussed it with my mom, and a few close friends at work and I've decided I'm going to drop the degree program courses. There's no penalty to my admission status if I take a year off and the courses will still be offered when I go back to do them. The Continuing Ed courses are a lot more unpredictable and passing one up could mean at least a year and a half before I'd have to opportunity to take it again. Bottom line is I'm going to finish my certificate before I continue working on my degree.

The other goal I have for myself is to learn some conversational Spanish. We are thinking of going back to Mexico again at Christmas and I'd like to be able to at least have a small chit chat with our bartenders and servers. I've ordered some Spanish language learning audiobooks from my public library as well as signed up to use this software they have a subscription to. I hope I can work my way through that stuff to at least learn some basics.

So in summary, I am going to finish my Certified Financial Planning program by next summer, learn some Spanish by Christmas and maybe even wear a bikini on the beach.

The future is bright!

So far, I'm makin it work!

2011-06-22T09:55:00.000-06:00

I didn't go to Pilates on Monday like I had planned. The class was at 8:30pm and I was a zombie by then. I was still super tired from the weekend and trying to catch up on the laundry and housework I let slide.

Last night I did make it to the gym though. I did mostly abs (russian twists, some kettlebell oblique exercises and the opposite hands and feet with the ball thing) with some lower back extensions and ball squats thrown in. Today I can really feel my legs from the ball squats, so I'm going to have to work on that a bit more for sure. I feel pretty good so far with the ab stuff I did. When I was done all that, I met up with my friend Tara and we did 25 minutes on the elliptical together while gossiping. I usually run intervals on the treadmill so the elliptical was a bit weird for me. It made my toes go numb for some reason, but I got sweaty all the same.

I haven't lost any weight yet (no shit, I've only been to the gym 4 times and it's been all of 10 days since I started this journey) but I have noticed a small difference in my shape. My mommy baby belly pooch doesn't seem quite so jiggly and saggy (awesome mental image, no?) so I am happy about that even if it's just a tiny change. I feel a little stronger in my core area already.

I was glad I made a trip to the gym last night because tonight my husband works 4:30pm to 1:00am. Weird, huh? He's inspecting some pipeline just outside of town, it seems really weird that he's doing at night, but whatever. Anyways, since he's going to be at work, I'll be home with the wee one tonight. I'll have to make our own dinner! Waaaaahhh! I love coming home to a dinner that's already made and ready to eat. Ew, then I'm going to have to do dishes too. Boo-urns. My husband spoils me.

Mission Accomplished Monday

2011-06-20T14:41:00.000-06:00

Last week I actually met my goal of going to the gym three times! It was a good feeling to reach that little goal but it wasn't quite the feeling I had expected. I didn't feel accomplished or happy or like I had really achieved something. Basically all I felt was not disappointed. But that's good enough for me. I'm still just really glad I did it. It's nice to not live with regrets and letting myself down. I am so tired from our crazy weekend and everything else that's been going on that I'm not really planning on any trips to the gym this week. What I would like to do is possibly make it to a yoga or pilates class. There's a pilates class tonight and a hatha yoga or a hot yoga class tomorrow.

In other news, my husband and I made it out to my ex-boyfriend's wedding reception on Saturday (the event I have been so nervous about and dreading for WEEKS!) and it went spectacularly well. The dress I bought was a huge hit and I couldn't believe how many compliments I received. My husband told me the next day that a lot of guys were coming up to him and saying that he shouldn't be taking his beautiful wife out in public anymore because someone was going to try and steal her for sure. My husband said at first it was nice but he said so many people were making comments about me that he started to get really annoyed LOL. It was quite the ego-booster for me. The catty mean girls were even complimenting me, it was great. My husband and I had such a good time partying with our friends, it was like old time, but even better. I can't describe it. I am waiting for someone to post the pictures on Facebook so I can put some up here. It was truly an epic night.

On the homefront we had a little incident last night. My husband was getting Braden ready for a bath and got him naked and let him run around while he ran the bath water. He climbed up onto our bed and was sitting on my pillow with his bare bum. He was sitting up straight right on top of the pillows with his hands folded in his lap. I told my husband, "you have to come see this! It's kind of gross but he's so cute and funny!" So he came in to our room and laughed at Braden sitting like a king on my pillow and then picked him up. That's when I saw he'd peed all over my pillow and our bed. Not so funny and cute anymore. I threw my pillow in the garbage because it was completely soaked through with pee. Then I had to change all the sheets. Jeez louise.

Thursday's Thoughts

2011-06-16T16:19:00.000-06:00

Well 2/3 of my dates with the gym this week are so far complete. I actually managed to make it again last night despite the lead in my ass that wanted to sink into bed and never get up again. I had a pretty sweet workout and when I got home and my husband asked me, "How was it?" I automatically responded with," I crushed it!" So, therefore, I must have done good. Also, I can't move my arms. And my knee hurts. And it hurts to move my neck. It hurts to cough, or sit up. And I'm so tired I can barely stand it. I slept in and just barely made it to work on time this morning. All I can think about is sleeping. But, I gotta stick it out. I know if I just keeping working out it will eventually improve my energy and endurance levels and I won't feel like such ass all the time. I made an appointment to go tanning at the gym on Friday, so now I HAVE to go. That will make my goal of going 3 times this week a fantastic success.

The thing I don't like about the gym is that I feel like I'm barely seeing my son anymore. I work all day and then come home and hit the gym all evening. It's sad. Also, the housework is totally suffering. I'm WAY behind on laundry and still trying to catch up with all the insurance claim bullshit from the basement flooding issue. I hate sacrificing taking care of my family and my home for taking care of myself. There just really isn't time to do it ALL.

In other news, we did finally manage to take our boy to the barber on Tuesday and get his fuzzy little head cut again. My 2 year old now looks like he's ready for junior prom.

Before

After!

Wow 'em Wednesday!

2011-06-15T09:00:00.001-06:00

Last weekend I went shopping for a dress for the scary and unthinkable ex-boyfriend's wedding reception that's coming up this Saturday. I spent HOURS at work poring over online stores with the 2 most fashionable girls at my work, going over what would look best on me, and what to look for, and what accessories. The works. We came up with some pretty good choices from Le Chateau and I was confident that I would be able to find something there that would work. Neither of the girls from work could make it to the mall with me so I had nothing but my own eyes to guide me. I'm pretty style challenged so I was stressed about going to the mall.

When I got to the store, I got the sales girl to pull 3 dresses off the wall for me to try on. I got her to pull them in Medium and Large because I really don't have any concept of what size I am. The dress I WAS going to wear is actually now 4 sizes too big for me and looked like a fucking circus tent when I dug it out of the back of my closet (I bought it just a few months after my son was born and apparently I was HUGE). The sales girl asked me if I wanted to try some shoes with the dresses and I was all "uhhhh... yeah." She proceeded to ask me what style and height and blahblahblah and all I could really say was "ummm. Low. And comfy!". I tried on the 3 dresses and the one the girls at work picked out for me was in fact pretty awesome. The only hitch was that the top part of the dress (you know, the boob area) was a little loose. My girls weren't really filling it out. The sales lady suggested I try a size SMALL and I laughed at her.

Literally. In her face. Laughed.

But then said yeah, what the hell. She didn't have that same dress in a small but brought a small in a similar dress. Now folks, I'm not gonna lie. It may have taken me a full 3.5 minutes (of dancing and wiggling and contorting) to get the zipper up , but when I did? Damn! It was a freaking miracle! I showed the sales girl, and she was like, "that's it!" And I was all wide eyed and like, "I know!" So, this is the dress I ended up buying and these are the shoes the girl picked out that really comfy and pretty.

My work fashionistas gave me specific instructions for how to accessorize but I couldn't really find exactly what they told me to get, but I had clear guidelines. I couldn't decide on a color so I ended up getting a full set of accessories in each coral and teal. For each color I got a pashmina scarf, earrings, bracelet and nail polish. After consulting with my husband, I'm going to go with the teal set because the jewelry is nicer and it will more closely match with his outfit. (We're not all matchymatchy, just don't want to clash, you know?)

So, basically, I am shocked and amazed that I am able to squeeze myself into a literally, little black dress and pull it off. I am now actually, kinda, sorta, almost looking forward to this heinous event!

Operation Fitness has commenced!

2011-06-14T14:05:00.000-06:00

I finally got my shit together and went to the gym last night. (insert small and obnoxious victory dance here)

I focused on a lot of core stuff, mostly abs and back. My posture is really out of whack since having a baby (I separated my abdominal muscles and was as swaybacked as you can possibly imagine) and I need to restrengthen all my ab muscles to help hold my lower back in place. I really pushed myself trying to be one of those personal trainers that really sucks at counting how many you've done so far. I was all like do just three more reps and I was all like just one more set and I definitely feel it today. I don't have that painful pulled feeling, I just feel like all the muscles are exhausted and have for sure been worked. I didn't go overly crazy, just did crunches, that twisty thing with the medicine ball, and the opposites thing with the big ball (which I could not find on the internets to shares with yous. Basically you lay on your back with you arms and legs straight up in the air and you hold a big exercise ball between you shins and hands. You let go of the ball with the opposite arm and leg and lower them to the ground and then lift them back up and switch sides. Make sense? No? Sorry.). The back extensions were really killer which was severely depressing. I used to do so many of those and I'd hug a weight plate and feel like I wasn't being challenged. Now I can barely just lift myself up 10 times. Yikes. After I finished my core torture, I ran speed intervals on the treadmill for 1.15 miles. I probably should have run for longer but it was getting late and I wanted to go home.

Today I feel so wiped out. I didn't sleep much because I got sucked in to watching a movie in bed with my husband (we watched Buried. It was shit, fyi) and then was woken up at 5am by the ~~fucking nazi-ass~~ little birdies right outside our bedroom window. I have tons of ~~redundant boring crap~~ errands to do around the house tonight so I hope I can stay awake and not get too ~~bitchy and evil~~ cranky pants. I really need to get on top of our insurance problems with our basement flooding. Pulling up the carpet has revealed a crack in the floor, in the foundation, that goes straight across the entire width of our place. Not too sure what to do about that.

Let's hope I can keep my shit together and get to the gym TWO more times this week!

Fat Friday

2011-06-10T09:00:00.010-06:00

So my mission to ~~lose as much weight as possible to make the frenemies green with envy~~ get healthy isn't really going so well. I've lost about 2lbs but that's such a small amount that it really varies from day to day. I'm trying to choose to eat less. It doesn't always happen. I've had a couple of successful days and a lot of days where... well not so much success.

One thing I definitely didn't accomplish is that I haven't made it to the gym AT ALL. There's been a lot going on with my son being sick and reacting to his antibiotics and then our basement flooding. Plus, my husband specifically asked me to stay home on Wednesday evening because he wanted to hang out at home with his family. Can't really blame him since he'd been gone for 10 weeks straight. So yeah. Not all that active this week. I hope to get to the gym three times next week before this ~~cursed~~ event so I can at least hit the tanning bed. A tan is an optical illusion of skinniness... to an extent. But, every little bit helps so I'm going to go for it.

Less like this.

And more like this. But add 10 years.

Thursday's Thoughts

2011-06-09T14:21:00.000-06:00

I have no thoughts or even a sprinkle of motivation today. I am sleepy with a Chinese food hangover from having lunch with some of the other ladies in my office. I've accomplished nothing ~~this week~~ today.

Blah.

Here's hoping for a more productive day tomorrow!

What I Love Wednesday

2011-06-08T15:36:00.001-06:00

Our basement flooded (no, that's definitely NOT what I love). My kid has been all out of sorts with the bug bite episode and then we figured out the antibiotics we were giving him to make him better were making him sick. Ugh! Things are just kind of off at our house, but, as we all know, life still has to carry on and we still have to go to work and do laundry and scoop cat litter, etc., etc.

So when all this other crap is going on and it's been raining for a week and everyone is cranky and stressed, what do I love to do? Go to bed with a good book.

Reading is my quiet time to escape my own thoughts and take time to unwind, relax, forget about all the crap that's going on. I could watch tv for hours and never relax or be able to fall asleep, but a few minutes with a good book and my eyelids and going down.

Some of my favourite books that I've read are (in no particular order):

The Safari Papers (Totally hilarious. If you can get past the real tragedy of it all)
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
The Gargoyle
The Twilight Saga (Yes, I admit it.)
Candide (I think Voltaire is hilarious)
The Outlander Series (I haven't finished the series but I've really enjoyed the books I've read so far)
Nectar
Club Dumas
The Third Man Factor: Surviving the Impossible (sooooo interesting)
Life of Pi
Scandalous Summer of Sissy LeBlanc
A Fine Balance
Density of Souls (this one is really effed up and is written by Anne Rice's son)
Atlas Shrugged (16th longest novel in the English language. Be prepared to spend some time on it)

I know there are more books than that on the top of my bookshelf but I just can't picture them, so there's a little overview.

What's on your top shelf?

Tuesday's Tid BITES

2011-06-07T13:44:00.000-06:00

Last week my son started at his new dayhome. He loves it there but kind of had a rough start due to his need to nap away the entire afternoon and the other kids' needs to stay busy and outside and run around and chaos! So he was a little cranky the first day (Wednesday) after his lack of adequate nap time. Thursday they went on a little wagon ride around the neighbourhood and my son got what I thought were mosquito bites on his face. He was the only kid that got bit even though they all had bug repellant on.

By Friday morning he looked like this.

So I'm thinking, Wow, that's some badass mosquito bite right there! I took him to the dayhome and then went to the pharmacy for some benadryl and went back to dose him with it. I left the dayhome lady the benadryl so she could give him some more in about 6 hours. Friday night I go to pick him up and the swelling has at least doubled, you couldn't even tell he had eyelashes because his eyelids had swollen past them. I see him and gasp, get him in the truck and whip over to the walk-in clinic. Doc says NO WAY those are mosquito bites, swelling is waaaay too bad and not the right shape. Doctor gave us a prescription for liquid antibiotics and a hydrocortisone cream to help with the inflammation.

Saturday morning kiddo woke up and the swelling and redness was even worse but started to go down once we he was up and moving around. It never seemed to bother him either, there were no changes in his behaviour. He was still his jolly little self. Sunday his eye was looking much better, barely any swelling. Still a bit of discoloration in the area, he looks like a prize fighter healing from a black eye but nothing like how it had been. We had his birthday party and all our family came over to celebrate. He had a great day.

That takes us to Monday. Face is looking a tiny bit better, he seems to finally be on the mend. I drop him off at the dayhome and he runs off in search of their hideous cat.

2:00pm Monday afternoon I get a call from the dayhome. She said my son only napped for 1 hour so she knew something was wrong. Took his temperature and he has a fever, can she give him some Tylenol? I said yes and immediately called out Doctor. They could get him in right away so I left work 2.5 hours early to pick kiddo up. We sat in the waiting room for 40 minutes and my son just sat in my lap and leaned against me with half open eyes the whole time. And here I was expecting my crazy busy boy with a Mr. Potato Head in my purse to keep him entertained. We talked to the Doctor and he said nothing was really wrong and since kiddo is already on broad spectrum antibiotics that will take care of any secondary infection taking place. I took him home.

All last night he just laid on the couch in a blankie and pillow cocoon and watched Ratatouille. He fell asleep at 7pm (very early for him) and we put him to bed. At 2:30am he woke up and we gave him a bottle, more advil and his antibiotics and he went back to sleep. My husband stayed home with him today because he's still feverish and miserable.

My poor little guy just can't get a break.

I'm doing something scary and unthinkable

2011-06-06T13:30:00.000-06:00

In just 12 short days I will be doing something horrific. I will be attending my ex-boyfriend's wedding reception.

Why, you ask? Because we're all in the same circle of friends (I emphasize this because I actually hate all those stupid bitches but am forced to be civil as my husband is best friends with all their significant others). I actually met my husband through my ex as DH is one of my ex's best friends. Yes, we do have awkward group get togethers on a semi-regular basis. Yes, I do freak about how I look anytime I see my ex even though I've been married to the love of my life for FOUR years. Nothing sends a better ~~fuck you~~ positive image than just being beautiful and happy around someone ~~you hate~~ you parted unpleasantly with and who eye-witnessed ~~your complete loss of dignity and composure while you totally lost your shit on the front porch of his parents house~~ your disgrace.

So, this is probably obvious, but now I have just 12 days to lose as much weight as humanly possible and buy the classiest (yet totally sexy and ultimately incredibly flattering) dress. I feel like a stereotype saying that but I'm sure that stereotype exists for a reason! It has to be normal to feel this way.

I know that dietary changes are what's needed most to lose weight, but I'm also going to try and get to the gym more than just once in a blue moon. I need to make some positive health changes and this wedding celebration (gag) is the immediate motivation I need to start.

I hope by blogging about what I've been doing to lose the weight and get to the gym more regularly I'll hold myself more accountable for my results.

As for some stats, I'm at 152lbs and I'm 5'9". I hope that I can lose at least 4lbs in the next 12 days but my REAL goal is 139lbs. It's gonna take some work!

Here's to a fresh start!

You gotta start somewhere, right?

Tuesday's Tid Bits

2011-05-31T11:35:00.000-06:00

Remember all my talk about becoming a financial planner? Well I'm done the first course now and I had been waiting anxiously for the results from my 100 question exam. Turns out I kicked ass! I got 88%! I'm so happy! I studied really hard and well. I probably did a more thorough job of studying for that test than I have ever studied for anything else in my life! So, I'm glad it paid off.

Now I can relax and kick back for the rest of the summer. Bring it on!

Fun Fact Friday - Scrapbooking!

2011-05-27T16:02:00.001-06:00

So... Scrapbooking.

It is something that I had long considered a homely nerdy activity but decided to give it a whirl when my best friend was trying to make a scrapbook of her wedding right around the time I was getting my wedding photos back from the photographer. We gave it a go together and enjoyed the time just keeping our hands busy and chatting. We grew apart when her marriage abruptly ended very shortly after and I hadn't really tried to do anymore scrapbooking on my own. For me is it something that has to be done socially or not at all.

At my new position in the Performing Arts Library I've been able to make some fantastic new friends, one of whom is the graphic designer for the university press. She told me she gets together with a large group of ladies every few months for an entire 12 hour stretch in a school gym to scrapbook! And they bring in hot food and coffee. She invited me to join and luckily my husband was home to watch our son so I could go for this scrapbooking extravaganza. I had such a fantastic time meeting all the new people and just spending some time for myself to be creative. I'm not good at scrapbooking by any stretch of the imagination but it was just something fun to do. This weekend I am going back for my second time. This time I won't be borrowing any tools or materials from anyone though, I've invested is some great stuff for myself! I can't wait!

Hope everyone has a fantastic and stress free weekend! It has been raining here for 6 days straight so I'm hoping for a little sunshine as well!

(Non)Religious Thursday's Thoughts

2011-05-26T14:33:00.000-06:00

I saw a post somewhere about a Belief-O-Matic quiz and I had to try it out. Here are my results! I find them fascinating and a little scary at the same time.

1.	Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2.	Theravada Buddhism (86%)
3.	Liberal Quakers (84%)
4.	Mahayana Buddhism (82%)
5.	Neo-Pagan (78%)
6.	New Age (76%)
7.	Secular Humanism (74%)
8.	Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (73%)
9.	Taoism (71%)
10.	New Thought (63%)
11.	Scientology (62%)
12.	Reform Judaism (56%)
13.	Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (51%)
14.	Hinduism (50%)
15.	Orthodox Quaker (47%)
16.	Nontheist (46%)
17.	Sikhism (44%)
18.	Jainism (43%)
19.	Baha'i Faith (37%)
20.	Orthodox Judaism (22%)
21.	Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (21%)
22.	Seventh Day Adventist (20%)
23.	Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (17%)
24.	Islam (14%)
25.	Eastern Orthodox (10%)
26.	Roman Catholic (10%)
27.	Jehovah's Witness (8%)

Choosing the right childcare - Thursday's Thoughts

2011-05-26T09:22:00.000-06:00

Choosing the right childcare for your precious wee baby is a very hard decision that we parents (especially moms, imo) really tend to stress over. It is so heartbreaking to think of letting your child be cared for by someone other than yourself. After a year (if you're Canadian. I know some of my American counterparts get a max of 6 weeks?!?! What kind of craziness is that!?) of staying at home on maternity leave and spending all your time with your child, going back to work is scary.

For childcare for our son we decided to go with a private, unregulated, unregistered day home. My best friend works at a daycare and she had told me way too many horror stories (no diaper changes all day unless the kid poops, mold in the bathrooms, staff giving kids candy to get them to be quiet, etc., etc.) for me to think that was a good idea. Plus, my work schedule is irregular. I needed a place that would keep my son until 7pm every night and feed him dinner. Luckily, a friend of a friend was opening a new day home right when I was looking so we had a meeting and decided to give it a go.

My son has been very happy there and I know he was well fed and that the day home lady truly cared for him. However, she is now pregnant again and we had to find a new place to go. She recommended a sister of one of her friends and we gave the new place a try while our current lady was on vacation. Baby B LOVED it there! I thought he was happy before, but holy crap. He screams in crazed excitement as soon as the new person's home comes into view and he cries when I pick him up because he doesn't want to leave.

My problem is that I had previously told our current lady that we would return after she was done her maternity leave, but now that Baby B enjoys the new place so much I want to keep him there. I don't know how to tell her that we won't be coming back. She has been so sweet to us and has become a good friend of mine. She's also the sister-in-law of my best friend. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but I have to do what's right for my boy. *sigh*

What I love Wednesday

2011-05-25T11:38:00.013-06:00

I love checking things off my ever-present to-do list.

My backpack and laptop bag each have ridiculous numbers of several different notebooks in them that I specifically keep for writing things down. Things swirl round and round in my head until I get them on paper and can release them from my ~~crazy person brain~~ thought circle. I think a ~~sane and superhuman~~ normal person can probably keep track of all the chores they need to do without making elaborate lists. I, however, am not one of those people. (Could this be me?)

When my to-do list seems to overflow with all the little chores and tasks that need to be done at home, at work, at school and online, nothing is a better stress reliever for me than getting some of those things done and checked off my list!

Just getting the groceries, taking out the garbage, going to the mailbox and all those trivial things, let me know that I am getting things done and life is continuing on and it makes me feel better every time. I find I get easily overwhelmed with all the things in my life that need to be done. I've tried to relax, take things one day at a time and not beat myself up if I don't feel like doing something one night after work. But the reality is that letting these things build up just gnaws at me and stresses me out even more. It's has taken me a long time to learn this lesson, but now I know that nothing is better than just getting. it. done.

I won't tell you about all the ~~lame ass~~ necessary things that I currently on my lists.

Happy 2nd Birthday to my little person

2011-05-04T15:06:00.000-06:00

And by little person, I don't mean small adult, I mean large toddler.

Today my son turns two. Two. Everyone at work who I've told this to responds with "time for another one, eh?"

Um... No. Not another one. Not anytime soon. Not with the working full time and finishing my degree part-time and the continuing education classes for financial planning part-time and the husband that is never home (it seems). I am not going to add a whole other LARGE aspect to my life that requires 99.99% of my time on an ongoing basis. I think my head would pop off if I tried.

My son's dayhome sent me a picture of him at lunch today. They had a mini-celebration for him with cupcakes.

Please ignore absurd bluriness. Dayhome lady must have a terrible camera.

But, of course, the pic is precious to me anyways.

Happy Birthday to my happy little guy, Braden.

Mommy and Daddy love you so much.

(And so do grandma, and auntie, and nana, and papa, and the cat, etc., etc.)

Financial Planning

2011-05-02T13:55:00.000-06:00

So, I think I've mentioned before that I am currently taking continuing education courses to become a Certified Financial Planner? Yes? No? Oh well, basically all that needs to be known is that I go to class every Tuesday night to work towards this goal and also had an all day class this past Saturday. Being at school from 8:30am - 4:30pm on a Saturday was the second least amount of fun I had last week. The number one being the final exam for my history of warfare course that I had to write at 8:00am on Thursday.

Anyways, on Saturday we learned how to use our fancy financial planning calculators. We are encouraged to use the HP10BII because the text goes through all the keystrokes for the equations on the HP but doesn't help you if you have any other kind of calculator. I suck at math. Like, really suck. It was always my poorest subject and I can barely do basic addition/subtraction to this day. But this calculator is amazing! Once you learn all the variables for calculating the Time Value of Money all you have to do is input them into the calculator and SHIZZAM! There's your answer. It's terrific and actually makes me enjoy doing the calculations, which is really saying something!

In other news, my little kidlet is at a different dayhome this week since our regular lady is on vacation. We're actually going to be switching to this new place on June 1st since our regular lady is pregnant. I was a little but worried about how it would go when I dropped the kidlet off this morning, but he was excellent. This place has a cat and there is nothing Braden loves more than cats. I barely had time to take his shoes off before he was gone to chase their cat. He didn't even come to see me when I said "Bye Braden, mommy is leaving now!" Didn't care. There's a cat, why should he care? I called on my lunch break to see how it was going and she said that Braden is "quite wonderful!" News to a mother's ears.

P.S. Their cat is hideous and I was impressed he even could tell that it was a cat. It kinda looked like this

My juggling act

2011-04-26T09:09:00.000-06:00

I've come to the conclusion that I could be in the circus. Seeing Water For Elephants this past weekend added to this belief. My show would consist of fantastic juggling feats where I throw all the parts of my life into the air and heroically catch them before tossing them back up in giant sweeping arcs.

What do I juggle? Parenting a toddler, studying Financial Planning for a new career, studying a History of Warfare course as I work towards finishing my bachelor's degree, working full-time, and managing my household while my husband is away for weeks, if not months at a time. He has currently been gone for four weeks and I have no hope of seeing him for at least another four. While my husband is away he is going to miss our son's 2nd birthday which is next week, May 4th. He'll miss Mother's Day and my birthday as well. Going to work was really his plot to get out of buying me presents!

Anyways, while I continue my world-class juggling act, I can only dream of getting some time off. My husband is thinking we should go to San Diego for the September long weekend and take our little guy to the zoo and stuff there. I think it would be nice a little break for us as a family, which we don't really get to do very often. Here's hoping the next 4 weeks are smooth sailing and that summer brings some chance of vacation!

Some days are harder than others

2011-04-25T10:15:00.002-06:00

Some days it really breaks my heart to wake my little boy up early in the morning, stuff him into clothes and then drop him off at a dayhome on my way to work. I find it especially hard on Mondays, after spending the whole weekend with my little guy to then leave him for an entire day with someone else. Some days I think it would be really great to be a stay at home mom. But on the other hand, my work pays for all the things we can do on the weekends together and all the vacations we are able to go on and all that good stuff. Plus he loves his dayhome and they really love him.

It's just tough not being able to pinch and kiss those cheeks whenever the urge strikes, you know?

I'm baaaaack!

2011-03-17T17:35:00.000-06:00

Well we just got back from beautiful Bucerias, Mexico last night. It was a fantastic week. K's wedding was the most incredible wedding I have ever seen, let alone been a part of. The ceremony was on the beach and we got to be barefoot in the sand under a thin, white tent. K picked really awesome music for the ceremony, just thinking about it all makes me tear up! She and Diggs had gorgeous sunset photos followed by our own buffet in the garden overlooking the beach lit with paper lanterns. An authentic mariachi band sang love songs while we toasted with champagne. Her grandparents spend 2 months of every year in Hawaii and her grandpa learned the Hawaiian wedding song and sang it to her with his ukelele while grandma held the mic.The first dance was accompanied by fireworks on the beach... it was all just breathtaking. *sigh* Best. Wedding. Ever. Better than my OWN for chrissakes. Destination weddings are the way to go.

As for the rest of the trip, baby Braden did fantastic, as usual. Everyone had to comment about what a good baby he is. He's a great little boy and he had a lot of fun running around the resort and playing the in pools and on the beach. My mom had a terrific time despite her doubting whether or not she should go on the trip. She loved it and has decided that all-inclusives are the way to go! I couldn't agree more. As for excursions, my husband and I did one Outdoor Adventure with Vallarta Adventures. That was an awesome tour. We took a speedboat, then a military vehicle and then a MULE up a mountain to where we took zip-lines and did some rappelling to get back down. Our tour guides were outstanding and we had a great time. I, however, did have to world's slowest mule. One of the guides had to ride behind me and slap my mule while yelling "UNDALAY! UNDALAY MULO!" which only added to the experience. The free-fall rappelling and rappelling through the waterfall were my favourite parts but the whole thing was really cool.

The other "adventure" I did was get a tattoo in Mexico! By myself! Ok, not totally by myself. I was just the last of the 3 of us who got them so the other girls left and I was alone for the needling. It went well and looks pretty awesome. Nice stylized starfish on my right ankle.

Now, back at work, back to daily life. In a way it's really nice to be home. But the whole working, cooking, cleaning, studying thing? Not so fun!

How are you feeling?

2011-03-07T16:39:00.000-07:00

People keep asking me that today. I think it might have to do with my rather green, sickly pallor. In fact, I feel awful. I have been fighting a cold for WEEKS and today it seems to be getting the best of me. There's just been too much stress lately and I always find my body really doesn't handle that very well.

First it was writing the term paper. I toiled through blood and tears on that thing. Then, Braden got a cold. He's been extremely congested with an awful, junky sounding cough and he does not enjoy getting saline drops shot up his nose in an attempt to help clear him out. He didn't sleep well at all over the weekend and was up for several hours in the middle of the night last night. That's really unusual for him so I know for sure something's not quite right. This afternoon I wrote my mid-term test and I was completely unprepared. I should have been studying on the weekend but instead I was trying to keep my sick toddler happy and trying to keep my house in some sort of order. There is also a lot going on at work and I apparently no one can get things done except me, so my boss has instructed me to train my two co-workers on, quote, "everything I know" before I leave for Mexico on Wednesday. Not exactly a lot of time to try and do that.

My whole body aches, my glands are swollen, I have pus-y tonsils (yeah, I thought you're like that visual) and I have no time to go to the doctor because I work crazyperson hours. I am really hoping just gargling with saltwater at home is going to be enough of a remedy for this throat pain because it would be awful to be sick while on vacation in Puerta Vallarta.

Our trip to Mexico is the only bright shining star in my future. I am totally run down, stressed, and exhausted beyond all recognition. I'm not looking forward to being at the airport at 4am, or the 7 hour flight, but after that, we're golden.

I know what will cure this cold... A pina colada on the beach.

Wish me luck.

I should be working on that SCHOOL stuff

2011-02-27T11:28:00.001-07:00

... but instead, I write in my blog!

Thought maybe I should do an update on my baby since all I do is talk about myself and talking about him is a way to be on a different topic while still just talking about myself, really.

Little Baby Braden is 21 months old, almost 22 months actually. He will be 2 in May!

He's pretty large. ABOVE 95th percentile for height (weird, not like myself, or husband, or my mom or mother in law, or any of my uncles are tall or anything. NOT! We're a family of giants) and holding at 75th for weight. He's basically tall and lean. He's always been a voracious eater and a good sleeper but the closer he gets to the terrible twos, the less he wants to eat the stuff he used to. What? No banana!?! No toast!?!? What the eff am I supposed to feed you for breakfast!?!! Oh, anything with ketchup you say? Alright fine. In fact, Braden doesn't really say anything. All he says in CAT! and MUM! and yeah! He jabbers to himself in some unknown toddler language all the time but as for real words, he's only got 3. Apparently he's slow in the language department. It's strange though, because he understands what I'm saying COMPLETELY he just doesn't say anything himself. You can give him fairly complicated instructions and he'll do exactly what you've said, so it's not that he doesn't get it, he just doesn't do it.

He loves being chased. He runs back and forth across the living room giggling like a nut if you will chase him. He has shaggy hair at the moment. No time to take him for a cut. He really needs a trim every 8 weeks as he has just about since birth. He looks like me. A lot like me. Except with a square face like his dad. But he's got dark, dark shiny eyes and dark brown hair. The cutest, softest cheeks. The pudgiest, squishiest little wrists. He is loved by everyone. Including our b*tch cat who is always attacking me but lets Braden sit on her, pull her tail, use her as a pillow, etc.

I could tell you more and more and more but it would just be an exercise in procrastination. I've only written 346 of me 3000 word term paper. Lame.

Did I mention school sucks?

2011-02-21T13:55:00.000-07:00

I don't know whether I've talked about this or not, but since returning to work from maternity leave I've been working full time AND taking degree program courses at the University during my lunch breaks. It sucks. And that's an understatement.

I've never really been good at school, but I've always been good at procrastinating. Now I'm back in school and I have to manage that with more time constraints and responsibilities than ever before. If I couldn't do it the first time, when I was living at home, not working, no bills, no toddler, no husband, what makes me thing I can accomplish it now that I have all those things?

Not to mention that I work crazy hours and am parenting alone 90% of the time since my husband works out of town. I see my son for about an hour to an hour and a half every night and I'm exhausted at the end of the day. There is no relief, there is no one to fall back on and I can't seem to bring myself to study or do homework.

Right now I am spending my Family Day off from work supposedly writing a 3000 word term paper at the library. Like I said, I'm a procrastinator. To the extreme.

I like my job but I am considering more and more that it may not be right for me in the long run. There is no room for upward growth or potential for salary increases. I could work here for the rest of my life and never move up a salary bracket. Plus, my position is a public service position, which means it comes with little to no respect. I am there to SERVE the public and I hate the connotations that come along with that.

I have been doing some research into some Continuing Education programs here at the University and I am thinking about quitting my degree program to go for a career in Certified Financial Planning. I think doing this would provide me with a lot more opportunities as well as not leave me tied to only ever working for the University. My husband and I are thinking that the next house we buy will be closer to his head office, 3 hours away from where we currently live. If I was a Certified Financial Planner I would actually be able to find work if we were to move and I would also have the potential to start my own consulting company.

Making it to the continuing ed classes would be a bitch though. I would have to get my mother in law to pick up my son on Tuesdays and actually have him sleepover there because I would be in class from 6-10pm. I wouldn't get home until 10:30pm at the earliest. It would be tough but in less than a year I might have a real career option for the future.

Something to think about while I attempt to write about Bonnie Prince Charlie and his loss at the Battle of Culloden, 1746. Fascinating. I know.

Las Vegas Highlights

2011-02-18T13:38:00.000-07:00

Some videos from the Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay

Bellagio Fountains!

Bridesmaid Duties

2011-02-18T13:30:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I am going to see a seamstress about getting some alterations made on my bridesmaid dress. We bought the dresses last summer and at that time I hadn't lost all my "baby weight" yet and I'm quite a bit slimmer now. I hope they can at least make enough changes so that the dress doesn't fall off in the middle of my friend's beautiful Mexican beach ceremony!

The wedding takes place 3/11/11 and we leave for Mexico March 9th. I can't wait for this trip just because there will be so many of my friends there as well as her whole family which is like a second family to me. Also, my husband and son are coming with me along with my mom so that will be wonderful as well. We spend Christmas in the Dominican Republic with my husband's family so it will be nice to have that kind of trip with my mom as well. I've been travelling a lot more than usual lately and actually just got back from a long weekend in lovely LAS VEGAS!

Las Vegas was just about the most fun I have ever had. It was just myself and a girlfriend that went and it was so nice not to travel with a toddler or worry about whether or not your significant other was having a good time. My friend and I did a lot of real touristy stuff and only managed to get terribly drunk one night at the PBR Rock Bar and Grill. We sat on the patio at the bar with a view inside to the rowdies that were riding the mechanical bull. We had an amazing time. The bartenders there are HILARIOUS and they really made out night!

So I screwed up

2010-11-08T12:48:00.001-07:00

I really messed up and it doesn't feel good.

This past weekend was an anniversary celebration for the women's fraternity I am a part of. On Saturday night there was a formal banquet at a swanky hotel right downtown. I drank way too much an turned into an idiot.

My mom had been kind enough to give me a ride to the event so that when my husband was done work he could come pick me up and we could head to the birthday party of a friend of mine. However, things did not go as planned. I consumed way too much booze and my husband was getting annoyed that this banquet was taking so long and going so late into the evening because it turned out that he was going to have to work the next day. It was my brilliant idea to take a cab and he was upset because it would be so expensive. Eventually it got so late that my friend's birthday I was supposed to go to after the banquet would have been over and I was too hammered to think about a cab home so I had another brilliant idea to get a room for the night in the hotel. My husband was so pissed.

I was also being much too flirtatious with a group of men in kilts that were around for another event at the hotel going on at the same time. Nothing even came close to happening and I told them all I was married, but I knew I was still being a little too friendly with them.

I woke up in my crazily expensive hotel room (alone) hungover as hell at 5am and unable to get back to sleep because of guilt consuming me.

I don't know why I did any of the things I did last night but I beginning to feel like I was rebelling against what my life has become.

I work long hours a far commute from my home and I have to leave my son at a dayhome for a minimum of 10 hours a day, By the time I can pick him up he's already had dinner and we just have time to get ready for bed. I still have to wash all his bottles and get all his stuff and myself ready for the next day before crashing into bed. I also go to class 3 days a week on my lunch breaks because I am trying to finish my degree. My days are filled with things I have to do just for myself and my family to survive. I feel like there are no breaks. I think that's why I was being so stupid.

My life is really pretty great compared to what it could be and I'm making the commitment to myself and to my family to enjoy that and cherish it. I am going to do all the things that need to be done every day and I am going to share my whole heart and happiness with my family. They're all I've got and I want them to know how much they mean to me.

I love my strong, handsome, hardworking husband.

And I love my little baby who's not so little anymore. I love my funny and adorable 18 month old son. He makes me heart warm every day.

Hippie Camping Bachelorette Party recap

2010-08-23T13:21:00.000-06:00

I made it back from camping with the girls alive and not even a little hungover. Actually, over the 2 nights we were out there I only drank 8 beer. I was anticipating a count of closer to 8 each night! But the atmosphere was very mellow and we quietly just hung out around the campfire. I was definitely glad I brought 2 sleeping bags, I would have totally frozen without them. We played some bocce and ate like royalty. I was actually quite impressed with our food. Steak and teriyaki chicken, shrimp, shish-kabobs, eggs, toast, coffee, tea, fruit salad, veggies and hummus... the list goes on. We basically were eating every hour that we were awake.

Although we weren't too rowdy of party-ers, the brides mom did get a little out of control! She was still barfing in the bushes when we packed up and left Sunday morning. Pretty funny.

I learned two things about myself this weekend.

1) I dislike really roughin' it camping. I don't mind tenting at all but the lack of running water really got to me.

2) I don't like being away from my family anymore. I guess I've gotten old and I would much rather stay home with my little family of 3 than fuck off with a bunch of friends for the weekend.

We are going to two separate weddings in Mexico in the Spring. I am seriously reconsidering going to the second one however because I don't want to leave my son at home for a week and I'm not too sure how fun the whole thing is going to be. I guess we have 2 weeks to make up our mind before we have to RSVP though.

Feeling Angst-y

2010-08-18T14:09:00.000-06:00

Sometimes working full-time, parenting with a husband that is away 85% of the time and living with an elderly aunt starts to make me feel all cooped up inside. There's no one to really talk to or vent to. Friends are great but none of them have kids so my problems are beyond them at this point. My mom is great but I don't like worrying her or making it sound like my life is out of control, because it's not. Everything is fine and we're doing well. I just need a little break sometimes.

Which is way I am so greatly looking forward to this weekend! My best friend, K, is getting married and this weekend we are having her bachelorette party which is an all girls camping trip! It's out at a lake that is pretty central for everyone to get to and it was mostly planned by the maid of honor and we have all been given lists of exactly what to bring in terms of food and supplies. There is one small downside... it's a theme party. Hippie themed to be exact. I'm not big on themes but "hippie" totally suits K and I am therefore going to don my flower embroidered flowy top and peace symbol jewelry.

Luckily for me I've managed to purchase some hippy-ish things that aren't TOO gaudy. I really should have looked harded for a vest and headband though. That would have made it.

I have a feeling it will probably rain the entire weekend and no one will be able to see our lovely costumes anyways.

The other thing that has me a little apprehensive about this trip is the amount of illegal substances some (almost ALL except for me and one other girl) of the other girls are going to be doing. They're all pretty heavily into the green and they are also planning on baking up some special brownies. I will not be partaking.

I am seriously anti-drug. I totally believe tdrugs are for people that have poor coping skills and the need to escape from part of their reality. That being said... I am a big drinker. I LOVE to drink. Enter said "angst" and "needing a break" and you've got me poorly coping and needing to escape. I guess to each their own.

Something I found at work

2010-06-18T09:22:00.000-06:00

I work at University library. I used to be in the Serial Acquisitions department but when I came back from maternity leave I was reassigned to the Visual Resources Centre. It's been an incredible change for me and I am really enjoying my new position. I mean c'mon... who doesn't like talking to people and playing with movies all day!? We have over 16,000 films on VHS, DVD and 16mm film. Most of the collection is unfortunately VHS and although I still own a VCR, it's not hooked up, it's just sitting on the floor in my basement, so I don't take home any of the VHS to watch. BUT, I do watch them at work. We have 2 large preview rooms and one small one and it's nice to sneak in to one of the big ones and pop in a video during lunch.

Recently in my time hanging out in the film library (it's a locked up vault with condensed movable shelving, the kind that could really squish you to death if you weren't careful) I found this:

Dead Ahead: the Exxon Valdez Disaster

Relevant, no? Current, no? Topical, no?

Being 25 I was not familiar with this event so I enjoyed watching the movie. I am shocked (not really) and disgusted by the fact that apparently we haven't learned from events like this in the past and that not only are we repeating these mistakes but making exponentially worse ones!!!

If you haven't seen this film you should really check it out. It's worth watching.

I feel like showing off

2010-06-17T13:10:00.001-06:00

Back in April my mom and I took a trip to Vancouver Island and it was awesome. It was just me, my mom, and the baby and she had never been to the island before. I got to show her a bunch of my favourite places on the island and I also decided to use this trip as an opportunity to try my new toy... My Nikon D5000!

Now, I must tell you that before I made the decision to purchase this thing I read A LOT of reviews, all of which had wonderful things to say. But this was my first dslr and I am moving from a point and click little thingy that really wasn't that great. I really wasn't sure how practical the Nikon D5000 would be for me a newbie mom just looking to take the occasional great shot for the sake of posterity. I was actually almost completely turned off the idea by an acquaintance who messaged me on facebook to tell me what a waste of money her high end camera had turned out to be and how she'd made no money from being a freelance photographer and blah blah blah would have rather spent the money on a trip to Mexico.

But the thought of this camera stayed on my mind and eventually I took the plunge and bought it.

No regrets.

I love the pictures I can take with it and how easy it is to do great in-camera editing. I can't tell you about all the technical aspects, because I don't know enough about photography. What I do know is that I love this camera. I love using it and I love the photos I capture with it.

Here are a few of my favourites.

Beginnings and Reflections

2010-06-17T09:09:00.005-06:00

Right now I seem to be at this point where a lot of things are going to change in the near future. I've already returned back to work from my one year maternity leave and there are some other big changes on the horizon as well. Right now, my son is being cared for at home by my Aunt that is living with us for the summer. Come September, he will be in a day home full-time. The care of a stranger. I am started to interview possible caregivers next week. It's a scary thing.

Also, next week I have my enrolment appointment to register for courses. That's right. I'm going back to being a student. I never finished my degree and now I'm going to have to struggle through doing one class at a time while working full-time. And parenting. Most of the time alone, since my husband will be working out of town the vast majority of the time. I know many mothers have done this, many SINGLE mothers have done this (mine included!) but it still seems nearly impossible to do. I'm hoping I can take it one day at a time and in SIX YEARS (!!!) I'll be finished with the little piece of paper to prove I have a degree. Since I work at the University, all my courses will be paid for (Yay!) so I know that's something I really have to take advantage of and get it done. How can I preach the importance of education to my children knowing I quit halfway through?

Maybe if the opportunity is there, once I'm done my Bachelor of Communication and Culture I could perhaps pursue some graduate studies... Then again, maybe not.

I hate spending time away from my son. It's like having your heart outside your body. I'm sure you other mothers out there can relate.

I can't write a post right now

2010-02-09T16:56:00.001-07:00

I cannot write a blog post right now.

I have no baby gates.

I am chasing Braden away from the cat's food every 15 seconds.

Gotta go, he's in it again.

Shaggamuffin

2010-01-20T10:52:00.003-07:00

Side note:

My son seriously needs a haircut. AGAIN. It's in his eyes in the front, knotting in the back, and long enough on the sides to push behind his ears. I will not have my son looking like Celine Dion's kid.

All in their own time

2010-01-20T10:40:00.004-07:00

I've never "made" Braden do anything. Even things highly recommened by pediatricians, such as "tummy time". He hated it, so I didn't make him do it. And guess what? He's fine and his head is not flat. I've come to the conclusion that most of the advice provided by healthcare professionals is because they have to tell EVERYONE the same thing and a lot of people are stupid. If you don't plan on neglecting your wee baby and will not be leaving him in the crib on his back 24/7 then the advice of "tummy time" really doesn't apply to you. If you get out and play with your baby, they're going to be fine.

Same goes for Braden and sleep training. For a while there I was really concerned that always cuddling him until he fell asleep was going to become a problem for him later on. I talked to my mom and she said not to worry. Basically he just needed to be cuddled and eventually he would feel secure enough to fall asleep on his own without crying. I'd asked her about this because I was seriously considering letting him cry it out to teach him how to sleep on his own but was very worried that he wouldn't just be crying, he'd be totally off his rocker scared and upset. So I just kept rocking him to sleep and then putting him in his crib. He's been sleeping through the night for months, also without any training from me. He has always set his own schedule and it doesn't vary much day to day. And over the last two weeks you know what has happened? He just started going to sleep. By himself. Without any prodding from me whatsoever.

He's a Taurus. Let's face it. I'll never be able to make him do anything. He will always figure things out by himself, in his own time. It makes me very proud of every little thing he figures out because I know he did it all by himself.

You know those moms that don't do anything after 7pm???

2010-01-10T13:33:00.003-07:00

I totally get them now.

I used to drag Braden wherever I went and whenever he slept or ate was just fine because he was on his own schedule anyways. However, along with eating solid food came a much more predictable schedule for him. He eats solids 3 times a day and a bottle 4 or 5 times a day and is usually sleeping BY 9. At the end or our day Braden has some quiet time, his last big meal, a little play time in his jammies and then right when he starts to show a bit of crankiness, wham, bottle in the mouth and he's down for the count. And now, because he's made this little routine for himself, straying from it is getting harder and harder.

I went to a restaurant last night for my friend's birthday. She said we'd be going for dinner around 5 so I figured we'd be safely home by bedtime. I drove my friends there since I have the car seat in my truck. We got to the restaurant and it was an hour wait for a table. Now if I would have been smart, I would have driven myself and told me friends to take their own car and I could have left as soon as I heard how long the wait would be. But I am not smart and we had to stay. I stood in line (of course all the seats we taken) waiting for a table, carrying a 21 pound squirming child for 55 MINUTES. My back was just about to splint into 2 when we were finally seated. We didn't get home until 8:30pm and since Braden had fallen asleep in the car he thought it was play time when we got home. Long story short, he didn't go to sleep until almost 11pm. Good news? He didn't get up until 8am. So really it wasn't all that bad besides my broken back from holding the chunky monkey for so long. But the whole time I was stressing about what time it was, and when I was going to feed him and blah blah blah. It's just a lot easier to stay home.

But less fun. It's a deicsion that has to be made on a case by case basis I guess. Can't always sit at home with the baby. I'd be batshit crazy in no time.

My laptop is ancient

2010-01-08T11:46:00.004-07:00

I am thinking I will have more time for blogging now since I have moved my laptop into my living room. Which is of course where I spend most of my time watching tv. I mean, watching Braden roll around on the floor. However, this move has come at the cost of aesthetics. My laptop is from before I started university and is therefore incapable of wireless Internet. Therefore I have a 100 foot Ethernet cable running from my basement laundry room, up my stairs, across the counter top of the bar, behind the baby swing, over the couch and into my hunkajunk computer. It's just one more thing to shoo Braden away from. He managed to tie it around his legs somehow while I was washing dishes but it wasn't around his neck, so I figure we're still good. Once he starts crawling I might come up with a way to string it across the ceiling.

Anyhoo, I've decided to have a lazy day today and most likely not even get showered or dressed. I went grocery shopping and to my friends stupid jewelry party with the baby yesterday and I figured that's plenty activity for us.

I probably forgot to mention that my husband is gone. Oh, he'll be back. But not for 22 more days. He's working up North (you Alberta oil and gas people will totally get that) working in a camp doing 24 days on and 4 days off. He had from November 15th to January 5th off to hang out at home so we had a good run. Now I am just trying to get used to single parenting again. It's tough! It's crazy how easy it is to get totally pooped out by just having to wash bottles and give the kidlet a bath. Much easier with 2 people. Even if he worked a regular 9-5 job it would be a helluva lot easier. But for a lot less money. So, everything comes with a cost and I am used to him being gone for long stretches at a time. At least I know when he'll be home which is more than I can usually say.

Braden got to wear his snowsuit when we went out last night. He basically looked like this...

I think it's a combination of confusion and fear on his face.

So having a baby makes you forget about blogging!!!

2010-01-07T15:43:00.007-07:00

I just read that my last post was from April 30th, 2009. The pre-labour signs were not crap. I gave birth to a healthy, bright, shiny boy on May 5th, 2009.

He is now 8 months old.

Wow.

He came into the world pretty dopey after I had 2 shots of morphine. Since I didn't want an IV, I was only open to pain medication that wouldn't need one. A shot of morphine in the butt seemed like a good idea at the time, but after he was forced out using 2 failed attempts with the vacuum and then finally dug out with forceps, not breathing, needing narcan and an entire nicu team, I would definitely rethink having any medication whatsoever if there should be another birth in our future. Mind you no one thought I would go from 5cm to 10cm in a mere half an hour. If my labour had progressed as everyone assumed it would (slowly) since it was my first baby, he would have been fine. So, 11 terrifying minutes after he was born I was able to stop my tears and hold my baby in my arms to look up and see my husband just starting to let his tears fall.

The first 2 weeks with a newborn were awful. He was not getting enough to eat and therefore was upset all the time. I had 2 nurses and a doctor all tell me I was breastfeeding perfectly and it was fine if he would only eat for 5 minutes each time her nursed. I knew this was bullshit. I could tell he wasn't getting what he needed. On top of that, day after day I was feeling worse. It was getting harder and harder to get out of bed and I felt beyond weak. I felt unwell and fatigued beyond how I should have felt from the lack of sleep. 4 days postpartum I passed a HUGE blood clot. I went to my doctor the next morning and he proceeded to tell me I looked quite GREEN and perhaps I should lay down while he called the hospital. He called ahead to the emergency room and sent me straight there. I was diagnosed with a severe uterine infection and was immediately put on a boatload of antibiotics which made me unable to breastfeed. I had every side effect possible from the presciptions, including a rash over my lower stomach and upper legs that dyed my clothes pink. We started the baby on formula. I cannot explain to you the way people react to a bottlefed baby. Like OMG why are you not breastfeeding!?!?!?! Because I CAN'T! MEDICALLY, I CANNOT DO SO! I tried to pump and dump while I was on the drugs so I could resume nursing once I had finish the antibiotics but my supply quickly dried up after spending so much time in hospital.

Bottle feeding went well... at first. I could tell his hunger was subsiding and he was becoming a much calmer baby. However shortly after he became what I thought was colicky. When my mom and aunts came to visit a few weeks later they informed me that no, he is not colicky, he's allergic to milk. Duh, why didn't I think of that? I switched him to soy formula and the change was miraculous. I've had a happy and very well growing little guy ever since.

He was the first baby of our prenatal class to be born and he is one of only 2 boys. He's the biggest kid. Tall but lean. Tips the growth charts at 95% for height and 50-70% for weight. No, he's not skinny or underfed. If you saw his dad you'd see what kind of lanky genes he's inherited. Despite being the oldest of all his baby friends, he's always the slowest to catch on to something new. Like I said, he's 8 months and no crawling. All the babies crawl over and steal his toys and he just lays there because he can't chase them and steal them back. But I'm not concerned. I know he does everything in his own time.

He is incredibly cute and gets more attention than one little person could ever want. I almost feel like shooing away all the gawkers and touchers at the mall. I think it must be the hair. My kidlet has a full head of dark brown hair. Has since birth. He's already had 1 haircut and he's about due for another. Sometimes people say he looks like me, but usually only if they've never met his father. But he does have my eyes. Perfect almond shaped, dark brown, shiny eyes. Red crabapple cheeks. Two bottom front pearly whites. Fat little wrists with long tapered fingers.

He's the light of my life and makes everyone he comes in contact with smile.

Braden Paul was born May 4th, 2009 at 3:41pm weighing 7lbs 3oz and 20.5" tall.

Oh and also...

2009-04-30T18:24:00.002-06:00

Every pre-labour sign I was having? Completely stopped. No more Braxton Hicks contractions, no more anything to signal that labour will start anytime soon. Let's hope I have this baby tomorrow and make this post ironic.

Things are slowing down...

2009-04-30T18:16:00.002-06:00

My belly has gotten to a point where it cannot get any bigger. People don't even believe me when I say I'm a week away from my due date because I'm really not that big. But to my body, I am past the point where my body is willing to stretch. I'm now covered in big, red, shiny stretch marks that did not choose to appear until about 35/36 weeks. I was doing great up until then. And then you know what my body said? It said "I will not stretch willingly any more. You're on your own, honey." And from that moment on I have been plagued with a growing road map across my belly that comes with numbness and ceaseless itchiness. I hate it.

Today at my 39 week doctor's appointment it was once again confirmed that my body is giving up on this pregnancy. Sugars were found in my urine and the doc says my body is beginning to no longer be able to handle the strain of being pregnant. If they find sugars in my urine again this week then I get sent for a blood test to check to see if I'm developing gestational diabetes. Also? My blood pressure is the highest it's been (which is still totally in the normal range, it's just that I'm usually really on the low side, so for me, average is high) and my fundal height has not changed in 3 weeks.

I think baby is done in there. I'm not gaining any more weight, my belly isn't getting any bigger, and the rest of my body is just getting really fed up.

I really hope baby feels ready to come into the world sooner rather than later. I don't know how much more my body can handle.

And the countdown begins!

2009-04-25T18:18:00.002-06:00

Monday was my first day of mat leave, so I've spent this whole week hanging out at home with the hubby. It's spring break up in the oil field so he's actually been around which has been really nice. But, weird at the same time. I am definitely not used to spending this much non-stop, 24hrs a day time with him. We are usually lucky if we can do that on a weekend and now we're on day 9 of this together all the time thing. Luckily, it's been going well and I don't think we're sick of each other yet. I am choosing to take that as a good sign in the marriage department.

I am 38 weeks and 2 days along now. Baby could come at any time. I haven't packed my suitcase for the hospital, but I know what I'm putting in it. And I just finished packing the bag for the baby so at least he will have diapers and his own clothes and blankets. I finally started washing absolutely everything we have for him and then I got completely overwhelmed with where to put it all. At first it really seemed as though there was no possible space for everything but after putting basket of laundry away it looks like it's all going to be nicely organized with room to spare. I will most likely never need another receiving blanket or baby washcloth as long as I live. I received DOZENS of the suckers as gifts. I don't have a lot of newborn clothes like at all, but since he will most likely grow out of them super quickly, that's probably not a bad thing.

I've gained a lot of weight. More than I had hoped to, but according to everyone around me it's all belly because you still can't tell I'm pregnant from behind. However, I am now officially 5 pounds heavier than my husband which makes me feel totally awkward and huge. I was also going strong with just a few stretch marks just above each hip until a few weeks ago... now I look like a frickin road map! And on top of that, where all these brand new stretch marks have arrived, I have also lost all feeling. As in a big circle of my tummy all around my belly button is totally numb. It feels awful. The doctor said all the nerves on the surface have been destroyed and feeling may or may not return after delivery. Great.

We've had 3 prenatal education classes now, and the husband has been able to make it to every one of them. He's been so great! He always wants to discuss things that we learned with me after class and he has learned and retained a lot of information. I used to think he was going to be kind of useless during the labour but I really think he's going to be an awesome help. He's so supportive and he will do anything in his power to help me. I'm looking forward to having him as my support during labour.

Also, Birth and Babies class is totally awesome! The instructor is a certified childbirth educator, professional doula, and a mother of four. And... she's fricken HILARIOUS. Class goes by really fast and she makes it entertaining and fun. I actually look forward to going. Plus the information is just invaluable. I was kinda worried about how things would go when I was in labour before, but she's given us so much information and tools for how to cope, I'm really not scared at all. I think she has prepared us for every and any situation. We have class once a week all the way until the middle-ish of June, so it goes right through childbirth and into how to care for newborns the first few weeks. The last class is a class party and a guest speaker comes in to teach us infant massage. I can't wait to see all the babies! There were a few couples that missed last class, so we don't know if they were having their babies or just didn't come because of the crazy snow and the playoff hockey game on tv hahaha.

My doctors appointments are getting pretty tedious. I used to always look forward to them, but now that it's the same thing every week, they're not really that fun anymore. But it is good to hear the baby's heartbeat and know he's still doing ok in there.

Back to folding baby laundry.

How I know life's not fair

2009-04-13T14:50:00.003-06:00

The hubby and I did a lot of shopping over the Easter long weekend.

I bought a chair for the baby's room and some nursing bras.

My husband bought a dirt bike.

*sigh*

Actually, in all honesty, I'm totally cool with the dirt bike. He asked me about a million times what I thought and if it was a good idea and blah blah blah and not once did it even pop into my head that it wasn't a good idea. It will be a great toy for him and I hope he enjoys it! :)

Baby Shower 2 of 3

2009-04-06T16:02:00.003-06:00

My "female family members only" shower that my mom hosted at my house on Saturday went wonderfully. The house was spotless (thanks to my mom!), all the right people came, there was a great spread of food and I got some awesome gifts and lots of stuff I needed.

What was also great? My mom getting a taste of what my mother-in-law is really like and why I complain about her so much. My mother-in-law did one of her hissy, authoritative comments towards my mom and my mom was totally taken aback. This is great! Someone else knows what I'm talking about now. My mom also told me to ignore my mother-in-law's copious advice about how to bathe your baby in the kitchen sink. My mom is a nurse and was appalled at the unsanitary-ness of this. The day after the shower when I took my mom and aunt to brunch my mom said, "DON'T listen to her about that. Talk about fecal contamination!" It was hilarious. I was all like, yeah, I know. I don't listen to my mother-in-law about most things. I find her to be ignorant and dogmatic. I can't believe she's decided to quit work to take care of my child and that my husband is ok with this. I don't want our kid anywhere near my in-laws without direct supervision from myself. It frightens me to even think about it. I don't know how I'm going to deal with her. *Sigh*

It's getting so close!

2009-04-03T08:44:00.003-06:00

I'm now 35 weeks pregnant, approximately only 5 more weeks to go before we get to meet this little guy. I truly can't wait! Sometimes when he's wiggling around I just rub my belly and think Hi Baby! I miss you!

As for the bedding dilema we were previously having, all has been resolved. I miraculously found one last set of the bedding we were thinking of ordering from the States in a specialty store and snatched that bugger right up. Complete with matching wall decals. Crib is set up, desser/change table combo is set up, wall decals are up, new window covering is up, closet organizer is in... Things are pretty much ready to go! And his room looks amazing. It's calm, and special and cute.

I had a false labour start the other night and now I'm thinking I REALLY need to get my hospital bag packed and ready to go. All I could think when I was having the contractions was "Please stop. I don't have and diapers yet."

As for my library course, I completed it and wrote my exam. I missed one assignment and took a zero on it, and I am pretty sure I didn't need to get all the assignments completed to pass the course but everytime I look for my final grade online it says it's not available. I got over 90% on everything else I did, so I hope skipping that one assignment didn't make me fail the whole stupid course. There's no way I'm paying $400 to re-do it.

My mom and my aunt arrived at my place last night. They are throwing me my female family members only shower on Saturday at my house. I'm really looking forward to it, but I'd also feel a lot better about it if none of my husband's family was there. Mean, I know, but his mom is REALLY getting on my nerves. She's constantly telling me what I am and am not going to be doing with the baby. "Why do you have a change table? You're never going to use it, you're just going to change him on the floor." "Why did you buy a new crib instead of a used one? That's just a waste of money." "Your cervix opening feels like a serrated knife stabbing up and down." "Both my boys had big heads, yours will too." (They didn't have overly large heads, I looked it up and both were totally in the normal range.) She drives me nuts. Also, since her and my husband's father are divorced she always tries to compete with him to kind of buy our love. My father-in-law actually bought our stroller for us and it was the most expensive thing on our registry. My mother-in-law bought the play yard which was about half the price of the stroller, so I can't tell her that the stroller was bought by my father-in-law or she'll get all weird and jealous about it. I'm worried that info might come out at the shower. Blah, oh well.

The ladies at work have also decided to throw me a shower on the 15th! I think that will be really fun, although maybe slightly embarassing for me. I'm horribly socially awkward in situations like that. But I'm looking forward to it all the same.

Only two more weeks of work left before I'm on maternity leave for a whole year! Woohoo!

And what it all comes down to my friends...yeah...

2009-03-05T09:01:00.003-07:00

... is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet.

I've never considered myself to be indicisive. But, lately, I can't make up on my mind on anything. Things seems to run around in my head in circles, and each lap it makes has a different decision is attached to it.

I can't for the life of me figure out what bedding to get for the baby. I thought I had it all figured out today and then I realized that half the stuff that comes with the bedding we wouldn't actually be using, so maybe there's no point. I don't want a bumper for the crib because it apparently has some small risks associated with SIDS. I also don't want the dust ruffle because it's bad feng shui for a baby (I know, I know. I'm totally lame about stuff like this). The comforter that comes with all the bedding sets is also completely useless until the baby is much bigger and can't suffocate itself. So maybe I'd be better off just getting some cute fitted crib sheets and receiving blankets and be done with it. I'll talk it over with my husband (again) before really making a decision.

One thing we definitely have to get is something for go on the walls. They are so bare, and so BLUE right now. We need something to break it up and add some interest.

This weekend is my sorority baby shower. I'm a little disappointed that out of the 44 people invited, only 8 will be attending, but I think it should be fun anyways. At least I won't have as many thank you cards to write.

I have a busy night planned for this evening. I have my prenatal yoga at 6:00pm and then I'm going to a charity potluck dinner at my old high school right after. I didn't have any time to prepare anything for the potluck, so my husband is supposed to be helping me out by making a fruit salad today. Hopefully he does a good job. It's not like it's hard, so he should be alright.

I'm WAY behind in my library course I'm doing by correspondence. I have to have it done by the end of this month and I've barely accomplished anything. I'm really disappointed in myself about that. I have a long weekend coming up for March 13th-16th and I'm thinking I will go up to visit my mom and spend the weekend with my head in the books. She's also doing courses right now to finish her degree, so we could be study bums together.

I am really trying my best not to make any social plans for the month of April. I have way more going on in March than I had originally planned and it's starting to stress me out. I'm going to try to keep April limited to only the things I already have planned out. I have an ophthalmologist and a dentist appointment scheduled for the very end of the month, so hopefully I don't got into labour too early because it was a real pain to schedule that appointment with the ophthalmologist hahahaha.

Oh well, guess I should get back to work!

I'm getting huge.

2009-02-26T15:38:00.003-07:00

I am now 30 weeks pregnant... and getting quite large. I've gained a total of 20lbs thus far. Doctor thinks I will still gain another ten by the time I deliver. *sigh* I'm also quite annoyed by the fact that you can see my belly button through my clothes. It's almost as humiliating as if my nipples were showing.

In other news, we've COMPLETELY changed our minds about all the stuff we had decided on for the baby. Except the change table/dresser combo. That stayed the same and is currently on special order. The crib we liked was sold out so we got another very, very similar one from another store. It's all set up and looks fabulous. Now that the new spring patterns have been released for the strollers and things like that, we've decided on some new stuff. We're going with this stoller which my father in law has very graciously offered to pay for. We didn't expect anyone to cough up $400 for that and we were planning on buying it ourselves, but hey! If he wants to give us the money for it, that's great! We're also going with this matching playard. The playard is being purchased by my mother in law. The struggle to get her to buy this one and not some other one because it was $30 cheaper was out of this world. She called my twice at work, called my husband at work, and called me on my drive home trying to tell us she found the same one for cheaper. But when I looked it up, it wasn't the same at all and I had to call her back again to tell her so. I don't know why the $30 was such a big deal, but whatever. At least we are now getting the one we want! My mom purchased the crib and change table/dresser for us which was extremely generous. She gets huge annual bonuses at work and decided to use a fraction of it for her first grandchild. I was very grateful for her help with that, and appreciate the help from my husband's parents as well. They have pretty much got all our big items under control for us.

A girl I have as a friend on facebook is selling a bunch of her 7 month old son's stuff that he either wore once or didn't get into at all for about $2 a piece so I'm going to be arranging a meeting with her to pick up some stuff. I've seen the pictures of her son and he always has cute outfits so I'm thinking I might get some good deals from her.

As for how things are going on the work front, it's pretty crazy. I've only got 30 days left that I actually have to be at my desk and that's not a lot of time to get caught up and problem free on 1652 title files. I've also been doing a project to write brand new procedures for my department, which I think I just finished today. I still have a lot of pieces of paper and emails that are problems that need attention but it's hard to find time when I have so much other day to day things to do.

Physically... mentally... emotionally... I'm feeling pretty drained lately. I get worn out and worn down SO FAST! It's hard to do anything at all in the evenings besides go straight to bed. And by 2:30 in the afternoon I've usually just had it. I guess the baby must really be growing lots and sucking all my energy.

10 more weeks til we get to meet this little guy.

Decisions, Decisions!

2009-02-02T11:11:00.003-07:00

I can't complain too much about the decisions that have had to been made regarding stuff for the little one as everything is now decided. Now we just actually have to get all the stuff we've decided on.

For the nursery we have picked this bedding because we both liked the idea of a forest theme and this was pretty much the only forest theme thing we could find. I also like that you can even order the matching wall apliques, which we will be doing. As for furniture, we are going with this, and this but in white. So that will take care of the nursery except for a chair I'm going to get myself from Ikea.

Now. Here was the hard thing. Deciding on a damn stroller. NOT ONE stroller had all the features I wanted. NOT ONE. It was kind of stressful for me to finally just go ahead and pick one because in the back of my mind I'm still upset it doesn't have some of the features that I had at first thought to be so critical. Also, it's not as pretty. But, it is practical. The stroller I really wanted was made by Silver Cross and was grey and green and gorgeous. It had a bassinet that turned into a chair for a toddler AND could face towards you as opposed to most that face away. The thing is, it didn't have a snack tray for a toddler and it didn't come with a car seat. And it was more expensive than most strollers that include the carseat. So, with my dreams of a little posh baby stroller that would be unique among the mall walking moms, I have decided on this instead. It's Graco, like every other stroller at the mall. But at least it's a different colour than every other stroller. I also like the tapered front so it's not quite so long and the car seat goes to 32lbs and the stroller to 50lbs which means it's definitely going to last a while.

So that's that. Now I just have to get around to ordering all this stuff. Wish me luck on that one.

In case you didn't know...

2009-01-14T08:58:00.001-07:00

Babies don't just kick. They jump and squirm and push and punch, all from inside the womb. And they don't just do this on the side of your tummy that you can see. They do this towards your spine, right on top of your cervix and even on what feels like your poop shoot. I'm telling you people, it's really not that pleasant. I mean, I enjoy it and a 'whoa baby B is moving and is therefore alive and thriving' kind of way but defintely not in a 'this feels good' kind of way. I honestly can feel him jumping so hard on my cervix I wonder if he'll just pop a hole in that sucker and fall right on out.

That's my TMI post for the day.

I've Been Told

2009-01-12T09:49:00.004-07:00

According to some of the blogs I follow, today is apparently National Delurking Day! So, IF (and that's a big if) there is anyone out there secretly lurking, please make yourself known! If I thought people actually read my blog, I'd probably attempt to make it more entertaining, so it's in your best interest to leave me a comment.

Wrap Up Survey

2009-01-08T09:23:00.004-07:00

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Bought a house. Had Christmas dinner for my whole family at said house.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I think last year I said I wanted to buy a house, so, check.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
A whole bunch of people I know had babies, but no one that I consider myself close to.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My great uncle, but we weren't close at all.
5. What countries did you visit?
Just Cuba.
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
I want a baby, and guess what? We're having one! Wahoo!
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
February 15th, we took posession of our house. August 12th, our first wedding anniversary and when we decided to start trying for a baby. August 26th, finding out I was pregnant. Christmas, enjoying being with my whole family.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I'd like to say completing my library course, but I didn't finish it, so I don't know. Probably paying off the tax man.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not completing my library course and racking up a lot on my visa.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Just the usual, nothing major.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Besides the house, our flat screen tv. I really love it.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My best guy friends who have made me feel more than welcome and are always ready to help with anything.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mostly my own in the first 3-4 months of the pregnancy.
14. Where did most of your money go?
The tax man. I'm so glad I no longer have that monthly $500 bill to pay.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Buying our house and getting pregnant.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Hmmmm... Bleeding Love. Even though it's way older, I just glomed on this year.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier.
b) thinner or fatter? Fatter. I can blame it on the pregnancy but I think my pre-pregnant weight was fatter as well. *sigh*
c) richer or poorer? Poorer, but not too bad.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Exercise and homework. And camping trips in the summer.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Watched less tv and been less of a lazy couch potato.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
At my very own home with my family.
21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Does more in love with my husband count? I'm also more in love with my life in general.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
I really love Law & Order SVU
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Yes, but I'm really trying to let that go.
24. What was the best book you read?
I'm obsessed with Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child's Agent Pendergast series. Seriously, those books have enriched my life. ALSO... Michael Crichton's State of Fear. I honestly no longer belive in Global Warming or any sort of climate crisis.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
None. I started listening to talk radio.
27. What did you want and not get?
A new car. Financially it just wasn't in the cards. And isn't for this year either.
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Oh, I like too many movies.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Visited husband's family out on Vancouver Island and went to the local pub with a small group of friends. I turned 23.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Finishing my library course and paying off debt instead of acrueing more.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Slacks and a top, slacks and a top, slack and a top. No patterns. I'm so boring.
32. What kept you sane?
My husband. Who is also the cause of most of my insanity.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Hmmm... tough one. I'm trying to give up paying attention to that stuff.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
I'm tyring not to pay attention to that either.
35. Who did you miss?
Mom. I wish she would move back, but I'll never tell her that.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
My best guy friend's new girlfriend, Sarah. She's one of my best friends and I can't wait for them to get married.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
It really does always get worse before it gets better. But everything always works out.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"Fat bottom girls, you makin the rockin world go round!" Haha, no sorry, I've got nothing for this one.

Sleep? Where are you my long lost friend?

2009-01-07T09:07:00.002-07:00

Last night was uneventful in terms of creepy events. But that didn't mean I got any more sleep. I haven't had a full nights rest in.... MONTHS! Although, over the holidays it didn't really matter because I would just nap and go to bed really early or whatever and I was fine. But now that I'm back to work, I need to sleep and can only do so at set times. Like only between 8pm and 6am. And it's rough peoples, let me tell you. I really think mat leave should just start as soon as you find out you're pregnant. You're either too excited or sick to concentrate on work anyways, and the exhaustion and fatigue is just killer. I'm already growing a baybeh, I don't need any more work obv. So now I'm tired, so very, very tired. And achy. I didn't know the inside of your ass could hurt. It's like it's already moving apart and making room for this kid to be born because I feel like the lower half of my body is just separating and it hurts, folks.

I'm still working on my library course. Actually working isn't the correct term. Avoiding and procrastinating would be much more apt descriptions. I really want to finish this sucker. I don't know why I can't get the motivation to just do it. I already had to buy myself and extension. I now have until the end of March to complete this course. It stresses me out just thinking about it, and I don't even know why. It's not really that hard, just takes some time and effort. Hopefully I can get my butt in gear and get going on it.

A New Day... And Some Creepy Nights

2009-01-06T12:59:00.003-07:00

As I have still managed to maintain my "fresh start" attitude, my day at work is going quite well. There is lots of clean up and catch up to do since the University is closed over Christmas and there is now a huge backlog of mail and issues to be resolved, but so far, things are chugging along nicely. I did have a weak afternoon yesterday and spend half my time on the Babies R Us website adding to my baby registry, but oh well, it was the first day back. Today I've managed to get a really good grip on my paper invoices that were clogging up my in tray, and I've completed all my online invoices. Tomorrow I'll be able to get going on the MASSIVE amount of received I have to do. My cubicle is already starting to look like a mini fortress composed of hundreds of magazines and newspapers piled around me on book trucks.

However, my goal to have more sex with my husband is on hold for a few days because he's left to go work out of town. Who knows when he'll be back, though I don't think he'll be gone too long.

I've had some weird occurrences during the last few nights that make me wonder if my house is haunted. Actually, I don't think my house is haunted because it's new and it's not on a burial ground or anything like that, but I wonder if there's not some spirits or ghosts lingering around. My cat has been staring at nothing in our bedroom lately. She looks at the ceiling and follows something around that's not there. Once I caught her in full on attack mode, eyes as big as saucers, all muscles tensed and ready to fire and the hair on her back and tail puffed right out. She was frozen like that for several minutes just staring at the doorway to our bedroom. I called her name and waved my hand in front of her face to no avail. She was really scared of something. It totally gave me the creeps. Then the night before last I woke up because something was touching my forehead, or almost touching. Like you know when something is not close enough to be touching your skin but you can feel it there because it's probably rubbing all the tiny little hairs on your skin? That tingly weird feeling? Yeah, just like that, on the middle of my forehead. It was just cold and tingly and no rubbing or scratching would make the feeling go away. Last night I awoke with a start for no reason. My eyes just shot open and I was totally alert. Then I heard my cellphone which was plugged in to charge just outside the bedroom door make the sound it does when it turns off and on. Except there was no reason for it to be turning off. When I got up this morning and looked at it, it was still turned on like nothing had happened. The only thing that gives me comfort is the fact that these times when I've woken up to something strange in the night, the cat is on the bed with me totally relaxed. If she was all puffed up and scared like she sensed something bad, I would run for the hills and never sleep again. But she's purring and spooning me contentedly so I'm convinced no evil was afoot. Maybe it's my grandparents watching over me and the baby or something. At least that's what I tell myself to stop from envisioning a crazed axe murdered at the foot of my bed. I'll try to keep up with posting anything weird like this that happens so I can kind of keep track of it. Although the less I have to deal with it and think about it, that happier I will be. Since the hubby left for out of town, it's just me and Pancake tonight. Hopefully nothing weird wakes me up.

A Fresh Start

2009-01-05T09:34:00.004-07:00

Well internets, as you well know, it's January of 2009 and everyone is talking about resolutions and new beginnings. I made one resolution and it was NOT to lose weight (as I am pregnant, obv.). My New Years Resolution for 2009 is to have more sex with my husband. I know, it sounds lame. But c'mon, we're 23 frickin years old! If we're not getting it on like rabbits now, we probably never will! So there's my goal. More hanky panky to keep the love alive.

So I really am looking at this year like a fresh start. I'm finally done paying off my debts to the income tax demons from hell, we have a house, we're having a baby, and everything is just fine. So I'm looking forward to keeping everything just fine. I know the baby is going to be a big wrench in how things run around here, but I'm determined to take it in stride, live day and day, and be just fine. I want to spend lots of time with friends in the summer of 2009 and parade around the neighbourhood with my cute little cheeseburgler baby. I want to keep the love and fun alive with my husband and maybe try to spend just a little more time in the kitchen learning to cook him some delicious meals. Basically I just want this fresh start to be the wonderful and modest beginning of our happy little family.

122(ish) days until like Braden comes into our lives.

Hoping you had a wonderful holiday season and this new year greets you with happy open arms.

I forgot to tell you, internets

2008-12-11T12:24:00.006-07:00

***

See this little Cheeseburgler? It's a BOY!

I set myself up for disappointment and stress... it's a recurring theme in my life

2008-12-11T12:15:00.002-07:00

So that 2 nights in the hotel over New Years I was so damn excited about? I have to cancel it. Turns out we don't have the money and my husband might be working anyways. I hope he does end up working so we don't sit at home thinking about what could have been.

But what's really stressing me out is that fact that I either have 1 week or 2 weeks to complete my distance education course and I'm not even half done. I'm such a horrible procrastinator that I've lead myself to this impossible position that I don't know if I can get out of. I need to finish this course because I need it for my career, it was part of my work and personal goals and also, my mom paid for it. So I REALLY don't want to waste her money by not finishing it.

I'm just so pissed at myself and so stressed and tired.

I'm REALLY bad at keeping secrets

2008-11-28T12:38:00.003-07:00

So far, I haven't told my husband what I got him for Christmas. But it's only been 24 hours and I've got 26 days left.

Yesterday I took a long lunch break (ok, really I didn't work all morning because I was screwing around on the internet... not unlike today) so I could look up a little trip to Banff with the hubby. Since my husband works in town, out of town, here one day, gone the next... it's practically impossible to plan anything. So, needless to say, trying to book a weekend get away months in advance is pointless. However, there are 2 days a year I KNOW he will have off. Christmas day, and New Years. Christmas day my whole family will be at our house having dinner, so we couldn't just up and leave then. But New Years... oh yes, New Years, we have no plans. And New Years always sucks, and I can't drink this year since I'm El Preggarino so it would probably suck even more. Miraculously, our favourite hotel in Banff, the Delta Banff Royal Canadian Lodge is not booked for New Years! So I took the plunge and booked us 2 nights there, December 30th - January 1st in a deluxe executive suite.

This hotel is special to me because one weekend when had been dating for about 3 months we went here for one night. We got the biggest suite in the place and lived like a king and queen for that one night and it was one of the best and most memorable things in my life. We were treated so well, despite being quite young, and we really got to indulge in the turn down service, concierge, valet, and breakfast in bed. That weekend we also went horseback riding through the mountains and ate at the best restaurants. It was really just one of the most fun times we've had together, and even though it was one night, we came back feeling like we'd returned from a relaxing week long vacation.

I'm pretty sure this will be the last time we get to go anywhere or do anything just the two of us for a very long time. I can't wait. I CAN'T WAIT! I CAN'T WAIT! It's really going to be awesome and so special and relaxing and romantic.

Now the trick is to keep it a secret! I tell my husband everything, right away. Don't even give him time to guess, I just tell him. So, if I can keep my mouth shut and keep this a surprise until Christmas? It will probably just make it that more special to him. I really want to knock his socks off with this.

Only 26 more days til Christmas!

The Pink or Blue Countdown

2008-11-26T11:01:00.003-07:00

It's now less than a week until my 18 week ultrasound. Next Wednesday, with a little luck, we should be able to find out the sex of this baby. I'm really excited, but also inexplicably nervous.

Work is bonkers as usual. Last week my boss said she was going to be going through my correspondence soon to see why I'm so behind and what kind of backlog I'm sitting on. After she said that, I went through my tray to remove anything that was horrendously old, or a big problem. It left tons of garbage in my tray that she can have fun reading through is she wants! There is a lot of useless things vendors and publishers send us and I'm glad she's going to get a taste of what a waste of time it is.

Also, the higher ups seem to be on this big cleaning up problems kick so that's kinda what I'm doing today. I'm also trying to get rid of all the medical depository items I don't know how to catalogue. I'm glad I'm cleaning up my section though because I don't want to leave it a mess when I start my maternity leave.

In other pregnancy news, I've barely been sleeping. All of a sudden I've started experiencing this wicked burning back pain in my middle and lower back, and especially in my hips at night. It's really painful to try and change sides and the pain has been waking me up and making it impossible for me to go back to sleep. Tonight I will try again to go to bed early and really get some rest. I'm getting so overtired that I'm on the verge of tears all the time and am really dragging my butt.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American counter-parts!
Love,
Your overtired pregnant friend.

Is there a daughter in our future?

2008-11-24T11:31:00.003-07:00

I convinced the hubby to go stroller shopping with me on Saturday. Actually, I didn't even have to convince him. I just asked and he said yes, I was pretty surprised that no arm twisting was involved. I know it's pretty early to start looking for a stroller, but it's just been on my brain as something that had to get done and decided right away, for whatever reason. I also wanted to check out this baby store I hadn't been to, so that was our first stop. We found the strollers and kinda just stood there staring at them all for a few moments. Then some weirdo old guy customer with a super young child and what I assumed was his wife and mother of said child, tried to tell us that we should buy this crazy $1000 stroller system because it's not just a stroller... it's a system that changes with the baby and blah blah blah. What I didn't understand is if this system adapts as baby gets older, why the hell are these people buying a new one already?!?

Anyways, we started playing around with the regular travel system strollers after a sales guy showed us how they collapse and all that good stuff. Hubby picked out your average Graco stroller and carseat combo. No big deal, reasonable price, seems easy to maneuver... One hitch... it's total girl colours. And the playard he likes??? Matching total girl colours. I tried to say that even if it IS a girl we should still get semi-neutral stuff as who knows when we will have another baby, and I don't want to buy all new stuff because everything we have is TOTAL GIRL COLOURS! So now I'm SUPER interested to find out the sex of la bebe. If it's a boy, we're going to have to go shopping all over again to pick out new gear that is not girl coloured. Only 9 more days until the ultrasound.

And then there was snow!

2008-11-19T09:17:00.002-07:00

Winter has finally started to kick in around here. There is snow on the ground, I have to scrape my car windows in the morning, and I'm always wearing my winter coat. And you know what? I LOVE IT! Except scraping my windows. I totally hate scraping in the morning. I am really excited for Christmas this year. It is the first time I will be having Christmas in MY OWN home. Last year we were renting an apartment and the year before that we were renting a basement suite. This year, we have a house. Our own house. It was my goal to be able to have my whole family over for Christmas in 2008 and that goal is going to be accomplished. We're having my whole side of the family (my entire family is 12 people... including me.) over for Christmas dinner and I am so happy. I can't wait to decorate!

I had a terriffic vacation last week. I spent time visiting my mom and we had a really great time hanging out and looking at baby stuff. I've picked out the baby furniture I want and even started my registry at Babies R Us. I'm pretty excited about that! However, there's still not much on it because I'm waiting to see if I should be scanning blue or pink stuff first! While my mom and I were at Ikea, she found this huge stuffed toy elephant and insisted that it was so cute, she wasn't leaving without buying it for the baby. It was so funny! We drove around the rest of the day with my Auntie and Heffalump the elephant in the backseat. We had a good laugh about it. My mom kept asking me if I think she should move back here to be closer to me and the baby and I really didn't know what to say. She just finished completely re-doing her condo to fit her style, and she has a great job where she is now. But I miss her sooooo much! If she was here we could do yoga together and go for coffee and hang out all the time. And she'd be around to help me with the baby.... I really wish she lived here still. But I didn't tell her that because I want her to do whatever is best for her! I think once the baby is born though she might really feel compelled to move back here because I think that baby is going to become her whole world. I can't wait!

I'm feeling quite a bit better these days. I've started to get a little belly going on. I think it's almost completely obvious that I'm expecting. Next ultrasound is in two weeks to check on baby cakes and determine PINK or BLUE! I can't friggin wait.

In my darkest days...

2008-11-07T12:48:00.002-07:00

I feel so sad and alone and sorry for myself. It's really pathetic. These pregnancy hormones are wreaking havoc on my life and I don't know how to deal with them.

My husband has been sick with the "flu" all week. I say "flu" because flu's do not last a week, they last like 2 days and after running a fever for 4 days it's really time to get your ass to a doctor. But, of course, he won't go. I am so frustrated and angry at him all the time. Every single little thing he does makes me want to hurt him. He is the last person I want to see or hang out with, and I constantly dread going home to him. I can't stand his incessant commentaries or neverending ridiculous questions. When I'm reading, I really don't want you laying beside me asking me a million questions about my book. I'm trying to read! And if you want to know what's going on, maybe you should also try reading! I am rude and snapping at him all the time and half the time I don't even feel bad. I'm just so angry. Now, he's finally had enough of it and stopped talking to me and I feel terrible. I want to fix it, but I can't because I'm just so mad. I don't want to talk to him because I find him so annoying, but without him talking to me, I feel so alone. I have no idea how to get over these feelings or how to get him to talk to me. I can't talk to him about because I just get mad and rude all over again. I'm alone, in pain and I feel like I'm suffering alone in this relationship and this pregnancy.

My mom and aunt are coming to stay at our house tomorrow because we have a family get together to go to this weekend. I'm on vacation next all next week so I will be travelling back with them to hang out with my mom for a few days. I hope I can get back on track in those few days so I can get my best friend back. And myself.

The Cheeseburgler's first photo

2008-10-31T09:19:00.005-06:00

I had an ultrasound yesterday, it was kind of a spur of the moment ultrasound and I was super lucky they were able to get me in. It was the most awesome experience! I won't go into detail right now, but I'll give you a picture of my little baby.

Elastic Waistbands AKA My New Best Friends

2008-10-27T19:43:00.008-06:00

Today was my first day wearing maternity pants. They're black and stretchy and pretty much look like all my other work slacks except for one crucial difference. They have a great big elastic waistband. It may not be sexy, but, my friends, it's damn comfortable. No buttons digging in to abdomen all day. Divine, I tell you.

Nothing else is really new. I had the stomach flu the end of last week which was brutal. I missed two days of work so now I'm even more behind. I still can't wait for my upcoming week off though. I'm planning on visiting my mom.

I finished paying all our bills today and was excited to see there's more than enough money left in my account to pay my tax bill before my next pay day. It's always tricky the months where the cheques come out of my account on the 30th but I don't get paid until the 31st. Delicate balancing act. I'm glad it works out this month and I'll only have two more payments to make after this.

In baby/pregger land news, I've decided to nickname the baby cheeseburgler. You know, like hamburgler? You know who I'm talking about right? Need a visual?

I've picked this name because I think I could eat cheeseburgers everyday no matter how sick or yucky I may feel. I just totally have a thing for burgers and I'm blaming it on the baby.

Well would you look at that... it's almost 8pm. Clearly, it's time for me to go to bed now. Sweet dreams!

Remember those days when I would get a really good, deep, restful sleep?

2008-10-22T13:30:00.005-06:00

I remember those days. I remember them with fondness and longing in my heart! Apparently when you're pregnant you're tired all the time, but you don't really sleep. Not the way you used to anyways. I've never been big on sleeping in. If I can sleep until 8am that's pretty fantastic but usually that was only after a late night out drinking. Normally I wake up around 7am. But now that I'm el preggarino I wake up between 3:45am and 4:00am. And I do not go back to sleep. From that point on, I'm awake. Last night I met up with the gang for some cocktails (or rather they had beers, and I had iced tea) and didn't get home until around 10. By that point I'd been up for 18 hours and 15 minutes. I went to sleep pretty quickly after getting home and woke up again this morning at 4am. Apparently my new pregnant sleep routine is to be up for 16-18 hours and then sleep for 5-6 hours. I'm exhausted, but can't sleep! I have a feeling this could be Mother Nature's way of preparing me for the rest of my life as a mother. Still, I'd rather not be practicing that at this point. I'd rather be sleeping.

Weekend of shopping, ditching and bitching

2008-10-21T14:29:00.007-06:00

I didn't end up going to Elli and Markus' scavengar hunt engagement party. I truly just ditched out. As the time for me to start getting ready for the party was approaching I began to feel more and more like a disgusting couch potato. I had a headache and a stomach ache, I was exhausted (from doing nothing) and I had no idea where the place I was supposed to be going was actually located. I googled it on Friday before I left work and there were seriously no direct routes there at all. The person's house we were supposed to be meeting at was in a super new community behind the airport and there honestly were no contecting roads to it from where I was coming from (I actually live in a town outside the city). The worse part of me ditching out on their party was that I didn't have either of their cell phone numbers and didn't know any of the other people that were invited so I had no way of letting them no I wasn't going to be there. I still feel horrible for not going, and I emailed Elli this morning offering my apologies and asking for their forgiveness. *Sigh* I hope she doesn't hate me!

Yesterday was my flex day off work and Lara and I spent it as planned, maternity wear shopping and engagement ring shopping. I got a bunch of good stuff from Thy.me Maternity and I got my new winter coat from Old.N.avy. Check it out. So, my maternity shopping goal was accomplished.

I have to preface what I'm going to say next by admitting that I am a horrible person and am excessively jealous of other people's things and lifestlyes, etc., etc. Shopping for engagement rings with Lara started out fun and quickly turned to torture. The final place we ended up going was a custom jewelry design place where the guy insulted where my ring was purchased from and then sketched Lara her dream multi-diamond EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLAR RING. I kept kind of gently saying things to her like she should check with Thomas about his budget and that it may be hard for someone to come up with that kind of money. After she got home and talked to Thomas she text messaged me to say that she had asked Thomas what his budget was before she told him about her ring and that he had said $8000 so she was really happy that she was right on and wouldn't have to make any changes the ring she wanted. I'm happy for her, but it is shadowed by dark, ugly, ENVY.

I know this is horrible, but I've always been secretly very proud of the fact that out of everyone we know, my engagement ring is the most fabulous (I know, I know... I'm a materialistic bitch and why would anyone ever want to be friends with me. I know!). It's a 1 carat princess cut solitaire and it sparkles and shines like nothing I've ever seen. So, thinking of Lara having a one of a kind custom designed piece worth a good $2000 more than mine kinda bursts my bubble. And once the bubble popped I started thinking lots of unkind things. An example would be that her and Thomas have been dating for less than 6 months. LESS THAN SIX MONTHS! Granted, they had known each other and been friends for sometime before that. They have been living together for less than 2 months. This wedding business started when she went back to her home town and got wedding fever hearing about all the people she went to school with that were getting married or engaged. Oh, and she's NINETEEN! She and Thomas are both each other's first real relationship. I don't know, but the more I think about it, the more I think that maybe they should wait a little while longer.

However, this is all very hypocritial and rude of me to say because my husband and I also moved really fast and left everyone's mouths agape in shock, I'm sure. The only difference is we were several years older and had known each other for many years longer. So, who am I to judge? No one, that's who. I'm just bitching to the internets about my only child jealousy complex.

My first prenatal doctor's appointment

2008-10-16T10:59:00.005-06:00

My appointment yesterday went well. There was nothing really baby related about it though. It was pretty much like my regular annual physical but with lots of follow up appointments.

I got some extra blood work done to check my thyroid, electrolyte and calcium levels since I told him my mom (who's a nurse) suspects I have some sort of hypothyroid problem. I also ended up going for an EKG to check my heart because I've been having weird episodes where my heart just pounds and I can't catch my breath despite not doing anything physical. It comes and goes and I'm sure it's nothing, but I got the EKG anyways. I'm fairly confident everything is going to come back normal.

I also apparently have a standing order for urinanalysis and they sent me home with a huge brown paper bag full of pee cups. Apparently I'm going to have to pee in a cup about once a month so I can just do it at home and then drop the samples off at the lab.

My next appointment is in 2 weeks (I'll be 13 weeks) to talk about possible genetic screening tests. Three weeks after that I will have another appointment, just my regular 16 week check-up. And, they've already booked my 18 week ultrasound for December 3rd.

So, I left my appointment with less blood in my body, a paper bag full of pee cups, the From Here Through Maternity book, 2 lab requisition forms, an ultrasound instructions sheet, and 6 packs of sample vitamins. I think all in all it went pretty well. Actually pretty boring.

In other news, I've decided that it's getting pretty cold out there and it's time for a new winter coat. I decided last year that this time I'd have to get a new one because my old woolblend coat has seen better days. But now, not only do I need a new winter coat, I need one that's going to work all throughout this pregnancy. I saw a pretty nice one on Old Navy online, so hopefully I will be able to actually find it in the store.

Here are my plans for this weekend. I have a tentatively scheduled spa party to go to on Friday. I talked to Mindy about it weeks ago and she said it was Oct.17th, but I haven't heard anything about it from her since. Hence, tentative. If I don't hear anything by tomorrow afternoon, I won't even bother to ask her about it. Saturday afternoon I'm going to a SCAVENGER HUNT! Yes, that's right. To celebrate their engagement, friends of my friends Elli and Markus are having a scavenger hunt party around the North part of the city that will eventually end up at a pub. I am not going to know a single person there, but it should be fun all the same. Sunday I have not made any plans, as I'm sure I'll be exhausted and have a million things to do around the house. I've taken this coming Monday off as a flex day and it is the day I'm looking forward to the most. Lara and I are having our first ever girls day out. She is the new girlfriend of one of my best friends Thomas and I can't wait to hang out with her. We've each planned to do one thing, so I want to go maternity wear shopping (so I can hopefully find a new winter coat) and she wants to start looking at some engagement rings, so it's going to be really exciting and fun. I'm going to have to make sure I wear really good walking shoes and pack snacks and water or I know I won't last very long. Because Lara moved here from another province, she pretty much has no friends, and we've hit it off really great. I think her and Thomas are a great couple, and I'm just really happy for them. Plus, she used to be a nanny so she's going to be great to have around when this baby is born.

Well, despite the fact that I feel really awful today, I should go and try and get some work done. If nothing else, it might just help this day pass a little faster.

I can't wait til the weekend. All I want to do is sleep. And eat.

Today's the day

2008-10-15T10:51:00.002-06:00

I have been waiting for today for 47 days. It's been FORTY SEVEN DAYS since I went to the doctor and peed in a cup to confirm my pregnancy. And today is my first real prenatal doctor's appointment.

For me this appointment will mark the beginning of a new stage in my pregnancy where I no longer have to worry about the rates of miscarriages or finish my pregnancy announcement statement to friends with, "but it's still really early, so anything could happen." Today will mark the point where I can totally and freely let myself believe in this pregnancy and know that there will soon be a baby in my arms. A little son or daughter (I still think it's going to be a boy, don't know why) that will truly make my husband and I a family.

I'm also hoping that in the next few weeks my stomach is going to calm down and not be so angry and moody all the time. Husband and I went to see Quarantine last night and the hand-held camera perspective really threw me into a nauseous loop. On the way home I made him pull over so I could puke all over the Superstore parking lot.

Anyhoo, I'll let you know how the appointment goes!

Rebound from the breakdown

2008-10-07T10:41:00.002-06:00

During my vacation from work (Sept.22-26) I spent a lot of time doing nothing. My days consisted of laying on the couch in my pajamas trying to watch tv or trying to sleep. In the evening I had some volunteer functions to attend but they really felt more like a chore than something fun. Also, there were some pretty stressful times getting the events organized. But other than that, I really felt as though my vacation was wasted. I had no energy, no motivation and I got none of the things done that I had planned. I cried several times just in deep dispair over how I was letting myself and my vacation down. Pathetic, I know.

Upon my return to work it became apparent that since everyone was so busy with a project that no one took the time to help me out with my workload. I came back to a desk COVERED in 104 pieces of mail, hundreds upon hundreds of emails, and overflowing invoice and correspondence trays. I was really pissed that I spent my whole summer covering for people on vacation and then when it was my turn no one helped me out. I was extremely disappointed and now completely overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do.

I got so down on myself, upset about work, and overtired that I called in sick on Thursday. I just didn't feel like I could face another day like that. And that night, my husband and I had the worst fight in the history of our relationship. I really felt like nothing was going right. After the fight I slept in the guest bedroom and called in sick again on Friday. I was too depressed to move.

But there is a light at the end of this. My husband and I had a great, super, wonderful talk on Friday night and healed all wounds. I am happy I married him because he's the one person that can ALWAYS make me feel better. I'm so lucky to have him. Anyways, by Saturday I was feeling a lot better, and took my husband out for dinner to a new restaurant. We really had a good time and it was a nice date. Sunday I actually managed to do laundry and get groceries on my own which is a huge improvement because lately I just haven't felt like I could do anything.

So, I'm now happily back and work and chuggin along! I'm feeling optimistic and hopeful again and I'm going to try and not let anything ruin that feeling.

Back to life, back to reality...

2008-09-30T14:20:00.003-06:00

I've returned to work from my week long vacation. And... I hate it! Dear lord am I ever tired. I'm really missing sleeping all day and just being lazy in general. My shoulders and neck are already aching and I'm having trouble sleeping because of all the stress at work. It's terrible. If we made more money, I would seriously just work part-time at like Superstore or something. Just a crap, no responsibility job to make a little spending money.

Boo. Work sucks.

As far as this pregnancy thing goes, I'm 8w5d and doing fine. Just fatigued and pretty constant indigestion, but what can you do? Oh, and the backache. But yeah, really nothing spectacular so can't complain too much! I'm really looking forward to the second trimester and I hope if comes quickly and is markedly better than the first. I'd really like to have some energy back.

Really nothing else is new. I've been doing a lot of volunteer work as an alumna with my sorority but that all wrapped up yesterday. Oh and I have my first yoga class at the rec centre tonight so we'll see how that goes. I hope it's as good as my Thursday class at the yoga studio.

And so it begins!

2008-09-18T09:27:00.002-06:00

So yesterday I was 6w6d and I had my first bout of morning sickness. And it was just that, MORNING sickness. I consider myself lucky that I do not have all day sickness as I've heard many women say.

I finished my breakfast of cereal and a banana yesterday, put my dishes away and immediately ran upstairs to throw up. So much for breakfast.

Today I sneezed in the morning and almost puked so I didn't date eat. I had a small yogurt and just packed a huge lunch of stuff to snack on all day. I'm currently eating chips.

One thing I find really funny is that in my pregnancy reading last night, I found this tidbit.
"Morning sickness peaks between 7-12 weeks."

I guess this pregnancy is running like clockwork so far!

I also took my weight and measurements, and no change yet. This is good because I really don't want to pack on unnecessary weight. I hope I can keep it in my 25-35lbs goal.

Husband has been very caring and understanding. He does a really good job of soothing me and comforting me and I really love him for it. I hope he can take these behaviours with him when I go into labour!

Work is insane. There's all kinds of shit hitting the fan all over this place, and since I'm on vacation all next week (ABOUT FUCKING TIME!) I'm in quite a rush to finish all kinds of projects around here.

I gotta get back to it!

I have the cure for all pregnancy woes!!!

2008-09-12T15:02:00.003-06:00

Ok, so I don't know if it cures everything, but it cured my insomnia, foul mood, and general malaise I've been feeling for the past week or so. I had an amazing sleep last night which has helped me feel so much better.

The answer my friends?

YOGA!

So last night was the first night back to my regular yoga class. I took the summer off as I suspected it may be busy and full of other fun activities (which it wasn't). I am so glad to be back into it. I have the same instructor whom I love and makes things so easy and challenging at the same time. The class is actually full this time around which is good to see. Anyways, since this is regular yoga, not prenatal, before the class started I informed my instructor about my 'condition' and she told me to basically just listen to my body and if I got uncomfortable I could switch to prenatal. So I got through the class just fine. The only thing I did differently was instead or really pushing myself in the poses, I only went until it was comfortable and paid attention to not strain myself. Pregnancy hormones apparently make your muscles stretch a little farther than they generally would, so you have to be careful not to pull anything. I learned this first hand several days ago with my hamstring. I think I tried to stretch it out at work and I went to far and it hurt for days and days. Much longer than normal.

Anyhooo, at the end of the class the instructor came up to me and told me I should try the prenatal yoga next week because there are things I need to be aware of and she thinks it may be more comfortable for me. So next week I'm going at 6 to try it out. She said I could do both if I wanted. After I try prenatal if I decided I can still do the regular one I'll just keep doing it until it gets too hard. I'm just going to see how it goes. The only thing about the prenatal yoga class is that all those ladies have huge bellies! I'm so early on, I look totally normal so I almost think I'd be out of place, but, like I said, we'll see.

I wish I could convey to you how much work I have to do, and how little work I am actually doing today. Hell, all this week! I'm really just here keeping my chair warm. It's terrible, but I can't seem to motivate myself to really work. I better be on my game next week or going on vacation the week after is really going to suck. Ugh. I just can't make myself care about it right now.

This weekend my cousin and his wife (ok, they're not married but they've been together for YEARS and have a 5 year old son together. They will get married... one day) are hosting a big September birthday party bash! I can't wait! She called me on Monday night and although I've met her like 3 times we had the best conversation! I told her I was pregnant and she lost her marbles, she's so excited. Looks like hubby should be able to make it to the party too which is great since he's another September birthday. I'm so glad my baby isn't due til May. Anyways, there will be about 12 of us at the party (which is honestly my whole family. Yeah, we're THAT small. I have 2 cousins, count 'em TWO!) and my mom and aunt are driving down tomorrow morning to stay at my house for the weekend. I am really just so excited to see everyone and hang out and talk to my family about being pregnant. My family needs more babies.

I was going to say I should go do some work now, but really who am I kidding? It's 3:20 on Friday afternoon. What's the point of starting now?

I never understood what people meant by hormone/mood rollercoaster... until NOW

2008-09-08T10:54:00.002-06:00

This pregnancy has got me losing my marbles. I have been so sad, so depressed, so tired for quite a few days now. And, miraculously, at 10am this morning? The world is a bright and shiny place again! Why? How? No idea. Hormones are the only answer.

It's like bad, bad PMS.... but WORSE! I couldn't stand the sound of my husband's voice, any of my favourite programs on TV. Everything was boring. Anything that I used to like all of a sudden had lost it's charm. Country music was enough to make me burst into tears. All I wanted to do was stay in bed, except being in bed hurt my back. And so did walking around or going ANYWHERE. I was sure on my drive to work today, that by the time I had actually gotten to my desk I would have cried at least twice. It was a deep, deep sadness.

And then... a mere two hours later? Happy, happy, joy, joy! My poor husband for having to deal with this. I'm having a hard time with it on the inside, god only knows what it looks like to him on the outside! Obviously not good, since last night he slammed the door and shut me in our office. No hug or kiss goodnight last night either. But he did make my lunch this morning! I'm sure he's frustrated and upset, but I think he also knows I'm just a little baby-maker full of crazy juice.

In other news, now that my husband and I have finally told the news to his parents, it's getting harder and harder for me to keep it a secret from other people. Especially people at WORK. It seems like something in my life that is pregnancy related could come up in just about every conversation, but I have to bite my tongue. I was just going to wait until I'd talked with HR about it (who have yet to even RESPOND to my request for a meeting regarding maternity leave) but now I think I'm actually going to wait until after my first prenatal doctor's appointment at 11 weeks so actually make sure this baby is ALIVE. Taylor's mom kinda scared me telling me about her miscarriages and that they happened LATE in her first trimester. Although, I talked to my mom and she said she never had a miscarriage. She had me, and that was her first and only pregnancy. So, I'm planning on waiting. But those plans change fairly often.

I wish maternity leave started as soon as you found out you were pregnant. My body feels extremely sore and I'm really not getting much done. I should just get paid to have babies. Then everything would work out perfectly!

Also, maternity leave should start when you're pregnant because your brain goes to complete MUSH. I left my office building last week with... get this... TWO DIFFERENT SHOES ON! I didn't quite get fully changed from my work shoes to my street shoes. In my own defence, they were REALLY similar. So yeah, I got half way to my car and turned to my work pal Beth and said "I have to go back, I'm wearing two different shoes." I told everyone at work about this the next day, because really, it was hilarious. But people keep bringing it up and laughing and sending me emails about it... and I can't even tell them I have a good excuse. I'M PREGNANT! Leave me alone, it's not funny anymore!

I never said I was good at keeping secrets

2008-09-07T20:19:00.002-06:00

Ok, so not telling people I'm pregnant? Pretty sure it's the hardest thing I've ever done! I've told tons of people! I just can't control myself and Taylor is getting pretty mad. I'm going to try really, really hard not to talk about it at all this week because if I end up having a miscarriage or something like that, it's going to be really terrible to have to explain to people what happened.

It's just... SO HARD! It's always on my mind, and it's a big part of my life right now, and I feel the need to talk about it and express that to people but I can't.

It's extremely difficult.

So, at least for this week, I'm going to try to keep things under wraps.

The other thing I feel horrible about is not going to work this past Friday. I was so tired and completely exhausted I just couldn't get myself up, so I called in sick. I hate calling in sick because my boss always gives me shit and I have to end up taking it out my own time which also sucks. But, on the other hand, I did feel completely miserable on Friday.

My moods are really getting the best of me and I can barely stand to be around my own husband. Pretty much everything he does just annoys the shit out of me and I just want him to GET AWAY! I actually think I'll be happy once he goes to work out of town. I'm a horrible person. *sigh* I'm going to go cry myself to sleep now.

How things change

2008-09-03T08:55:00.002-06:00

Well now that my mother and my husband have had more time to process the news of my pregnancy both seem to now be totally happy and excited!

My mother actually turned down two job offers this past week citing her reason as she was going to be a grandma and could not bear to move farther away from me and baby, so that was cute. She also said she's happy is happening now because she's not too old yet and will be around to watch baby grow up.

She told me that she was in a terrible state of mind for the last little while but is now feeling much more upbeat. She's signed up for a yoga class and adult swimming class at her local rec centre and seems to be feeling better about her job right now as well.

As for Taylor, he really wants to know RIGHT NOW if it's a boy or a girl. He wants to get the nursery decorated and ready to go which we don't want to do until we know the baby's gender. Plus, it's WAY too early for that kind of thing.

Tomorrow will be the 5 week mark, and so far my symptoms are fatigue and back ache. I have no idea why my back hurts so much, but it does. And it makes sitting at the computer all day almost unbearable.

Next week my yoga class starts and I'm going to need to tell my instructor I'm pregnant so she can tell me what to modify. I'll have to tell her I signed up for this regular yoga instead of prenatal because I didn't know I was pregnant when I registered. I'm also thinking of taking a prenatal yoga class at the city rec centre that runs from September - December. I think it would be a good idea since it would help keep me active and strech and de-stress but I'm wondering if being busy Tuesday and Thursday night every week for the next four months is going to wear me out? I don't want to get stressed because I feel busy, and I still will have lots of housework to do and I need to finish my distance education course before December (which I've only just started, ooops). I'm not sure, I'm still debating whether or not to sign up for the second class. Maybe the physical benefits should out-weigh my sense of chores that need to be done around the house. No one is really going to care if I get the vacuuming and whatnot done. Especially if Taylor is working out of town.

Hmmm, I'm still undecided. But the more exercise I get, the better off I will probably be.

In other news, Taylor spend the long weekend painting our masterbedroom and bathroom. I love the colours! However... the mess that's left behind is driving me up the wall. It was Taylor's first time ever paining and there are a million touch ups that need to be done and drips that need to be scrubbed off. I'm not sure if he will get the cleaning done before he leaves, and if he doesn't I'm just going to do it after he's gone. Oh well, I really do love the colour. Our bedroom is a milk chocolate brown and the bedroom is a few shades lighter, kind of toffee coloured. It's gorgeous and really makes a nice fresh difference.

Anyhoo, I have mountains of work to do all over my desk and I better do something about before my nazi boss starts creeping around my cubicle!

Telling people I'm pregnant

2008-08-28T11:14:00.008-06:00

Deciding who to tell I'm pregnant, and when to tell them has been really hard. I want to talk to EVERYONE about it because I think talking helps me deal with any emotional issues, but I'm leary since there's always a chance I'll miscarry and I'd hate having to tell people about that.

But, I have told some people. First off, my husband. He didn't answer his cell phone for about an hour since he was working at the time. After I finally got a hold of him, I called my mom.

When I called my mom the conversation started with the normal chit-chat. However, my mom told me she was feeling very depressed. She said more than once that she was in a funk. She spent the weekend like a recluse and didn't even go out for coffee with my Aunt (which is very strange because they usually spend weekends together doing all kinds of fun and interesting stuff). She said she was fed up at work but that she wasn't sure if that was why she was in a funk or if she was in a funk and then work just made it worse.

So, since she was down in the dumps and not very happy at all (which is VERY unlike my mom) when I told her I was pregnant, there were no squeals of joy. No comments of how happy she would be. No excitment. The only thing she said was "I guess it's congratulations. When are you due?"

Her reaction broke my heart.

My mom has always been 100% supportive of me and happy for me, and always just wanted me to follow my heart and be happy. I was so disappointed that she wasn't happy. I truly thought she would be ecstatic, and her not being joyful has really affected how I feel about it. I trust my mom's instincts wholeheartedly and I feel that if she thinks this is bad timing, or whatever, then she's probably right, and that scares me and makes me feel alone and sad.

I realize her reaction probably had a lot more to do with how she was feeling and possibly very little to do with my happy news.

I hope that's true and I hope she snaps out of this funk and comes around to being happy because being happy without her is hard.

So... moving on from that open wound.... Besides my husband and my mom, I told my best friend Kendall because I was really looking for someone to actually be happy for me instead of sad or, as in my husband's case, shocked and worried (he's concerened for financial reasons as I am sure many dads-to-be are). She was very happy and excited and I was glad to have told her.

Then, since I can't keep my fat mouth shut, I told Beth, my bestest pal at work. She was incredibly happy. She's close to my mom's age, and has a son and daughter-in-law that are expecting their first baby any day now (which will be her first grandchild!) and she had pretty much the exact reaction I had expected from my mom. So it was really great to talk to her. And she promised to keep it a secret until I've notified HR, my boss, and everyone else at work.

And then today my friend Kelly asked if I was pregnant and I just flat-out said yes HAHAHAHA. I'm hoping I can control my need to blab about this for a few more weeks til I have work stuff sorted out.

So those are the only people that know. Taylor hasn't said anything to either of his parents. I don't think he will for a while yet. He's still shocked and only semi-happy at this point.

It's gonna take a while for both of us to really understand our feelings and comes to grips with the situation, but I know everything always works out. I'm looking forward to my very first doctor's appointment tomorrow so I can get a medical professional to confirm the pregnancy. And ask him what the hell I can do about these headaches!

Pregnancy Test Results

2008-08-27T11:06:00.002-06:00

So I couldn't bear to wait three more days to do the test. I asked Taylor what he thought, if I should wait the three days until I was actually one day late, or if I should just do the test now.

Taylor said, "Do it now."

So I did.

After work I went straight to the drug store before going home.

I bought a bag of ketchup chips, two chocolate bars, a tabloid mag... oh and a pregnancy test.

As the middle aged woman at the check-in counter scanned the test, I quietly whispered, "Keep your fingers crossed for me." She smiled and said ok. Then she told me how she'd just become a Great Aunt and I said congratulations. She bagged up all my goods and then looked down to see the pregnancy test CLEARLY visible through the light plastic. She moved it so it was inbetween my chips and magazine so that it could not been seen. "Not everyone needs to know," she said. I thought that was one of the sweetest things a stranger has ever done for me.

I took my bag and said thank you. She said "good luck!" as I turned and walked out.

I got home and I fed my fat hungry cat, and headed for the bathroom. I followed the instructions, did the test and laid it flat on the counter and left the bathroom without even glancing at it. I went and washed my hands in the kitchen just so I wouldn't see the results before the time was up.

After three minutes I headed back into the bathroom to check the results.

My heart pounded as I saw two pink lines.

I'm pregnant. :o)

TTC HPT... 3 days and counting

2008-08-26T15:00:00.001-06:00

I'm waiting until Friday to try a pregnancy test. It's all I can think about, so keep your fingers crossed.

A visual representation of my personality

2008-08-22T14:30:00.002-06:00

Because I'm bored and hate work and honestly have not done ONE STITCH of work this ENTIRE DAY, I thought you'd want to see the painting of my personality.

That is all.

Time to be a parent?

2008-08-18T10:44:00.002-06:00

Taylor and I have finally started actively trying to conceive. Except he just left to work out of town for a few weeks, so if there's not anything cooking in the oven right now, there won't be an opportunity to try again for some time.

We tried on all the right days this month, so all we can do now is hope.

We've talked about having a baby for about a year, and we would get really excited but when it came down to it we would always decide it wasn't the best time. This is the first time I have ever seen Taylor so hopefully and relaxed about possibly having a baby. I think that's a really good sign that it's time. We've been married for a year, we've got the 3 bedroom house, I have a good job and Taylor has just gone back to his old job so he can make more money. Everything is starting to really look up so I hope everything works out. No matter what happens, it's all for the best and I'm just feeling happy and content right now.

I hate work

2008-08-15T11:40:00.002-06:00

Well, I guess I can't really say I hate it. I actually have this weird NEED to get up and come here every day, but I still don't like doing it. But I don't need it so bad that if I won the lottery I'd still work here. HELLS NO! I'd be outta this joint for sure.

But oh my dear lord... is it ever boring.

It's 30 degrees outside and do you know what I'm wearing? A FULL LENGHT CABLE KNIT SWEATER because I freeze to death sitting at my desk.

Out of the ten of us in my department, 3 of us are here today. Everyone else is on vacation. But of course, my boss is still hear sneaking up behind me to check if I'm actually working... which I'm not.

All I want to do is GO OUTSIDE! Do something fun and hang out with friends, and enjoy the wonderful weather outside.

But I'm here, stuck in my cube, trying to earn a buck.

Ugh. Such is life.

Happy Anniversary... to me! And my husband!

2008-08-14T15:38:00.005-06:00

Well as of August 12th 2008 at 5pm, we are no longer newlyweds. We've been married for one whole year already.

I remember our wedding day like it was yesterday but also as a blur. I used to think videotaping your wedding would the be the cheesiest shit known to man and that no one, including myself, would ever watch it. Which is why we did not have our ceremony recorded. Now I kind of wish we had, but I remember little special parts very clearly. I remember Taylor and I whispering to each other through the ceremony and just staring very intently at each other, holding hands and saying our vows. In that moment, not one single thing existed or mattered to us but each other, and I hope I never forget how powerful and yet calm those moments were.

There was a lot of other garbage that happened on our wedding day that I try not to think about because it spoils what was really a great day. Things like all the guys' bouts and the ladies' corsages being all mixed up, some of the flowers in my bouquet being fake(!) (damn that florest!) going to the church BY MYSELF because none of the bridesmaids or my mom were ready yet, and after the wedding my maid of honor being a selfish bitch for months on end because I didn't hug her on my wedding day (just to clarify, I thanked EVERYONE, and gave them gifts and threw a party for our wedding party after the wedding to thank them again which she didn't show up to). Oh well, all is forgiven (kinda) and I am just happy to have married such a wonderful man. He drives me absolutely bat shit crazy, but I couldn't live without him.

So, here's to one year of marriage down, and looking forward to many, many more to come.

Love you with all my heart babe.

My cat has a serious (albeit hilarious) problem

2008-07-30T09:03:00.003-06:00

Meet Pancake.

This is my cute, cuddly, amazingly friendly kitty. She's about 4 years old, but I've only had her for a year. We adopted her last summer from the Humane Society. I've just about always had cats growing up (I've never had a dog, and don't know if I ever want to) but Pancake is by far the best. Unlike other cats, she's always around, sitting in your lap and snuggling her head up under your chin. She also has the softest fur of any cat EVER in the whole entire world. Taylor doesn't even really like cats (he grew up with 2 black labs) but he adores Pancake just because of how friendly and cuddly she is.

Anyhoo, Pancake lately has had some embarassing problems. She has the worst gas I have ever smelled.

It's disgusting. Sometimes she'll jump up on your lap and you'll give her a little hug, and you hear this gentle pitthhhhet noise like air escaping. And then it hits your nostrils and you push her off the couch and run into the kitchen to get away from the deadly gas that seems thicker than any normal air.

This first started maybe like a month ago, and happened only once. But lately, it's pretty regular. Like a couple times a day. I have no idea where this came from. We haven't changed her food or started any new treats.

Sometimes her farts are silent, but they are always deadly. It's totally worse than human farts, and I really don't know how to describe it. But they're thick and potent and do not diffuse easily. The stentch lingers and you can't go back in the room for easily 5 minutes.

If this continues I'm seriously considering taking her to the vet, because really. What the hell is wrong with her!?

My superhero mom

2008-07-28T10:40:00.002-06:00

So my mini-roadtrip weekend up to Edmonton to visit my family was a complete success. I had a really good time hanging out with my aunt and my mom and I didn't tire myself out as much as I usually do. I didn't spend too, too much money either.

I really enjoyed the Body Worlds exhibit we went to. It was very informative and entertaining and I think the organizers did a great job of remaining neutral in the midst of all the political and relgious controversy that surrounded the exhibit. I thought it was great, and I wish it was coming to my city so more people I know could go see it.

While we were at the Science Centre checking everything out, there was a young lady that collapsed. I told my mom about it, and being the nurse she is, she jumped right in there! Turns out no one was really helping her, they were all just standing around asking "Are you okay? Are you okay?" over and over again. I think the staff there thought she had gotten grossed out by some of the displays and fainted because of that. My mom started instructing the staff to get the woman some juice, and sent another staff member to get some cookies or crackers. Turns out the woman was pregnant and hadn't had breakfast because she had been feeling so nauseous in the morning. So, luckily my superhero mom was there to intervene and save the day!

I kept bugging her about it the rest of the weekend.

"Hey mom! Do you need a cookie and a juice box!?"

Maybe I should get her a superhero uniform.

BODY WORLDS! Mini-roadtrip

2008-07-25T08:52:00.005-06:00

After work tonight I'm making the 3 hour drive North to go visit my mom and my aunt for the weekend. I love going to Edmonton. LOVE it! It's so close to home, but just different enough to really turn me on. I lived there for a while when I was much younger, and going back is always a treat. When I was a teenager and my mom still lived down here with me, I used to take the bus up to Edmonton to visit my aunt. My favourite time to go was fall because the drive through the valley on Groat Rd was so beautiful with all the leaves changing colours. My aunt doesn't have a car and lived close to downtown so we would take the bus all around the city and she would show me all the cool artsy shops and we'd go for lunch at my favourite place, Zenari's. My aunt actually knows "Zenari" himself so we'd always get to chat with him and then enjoy the fresh made Italian goods, and then I'd wander around the gourmet kitchen wares section and just take it all in. I always thought it was a great place for people watching, and an incredible lunch during a long day of shopping.

I CAN'T WAIT to go there for lunch tomorrow! Plus I love hanging out with my mom and my aunt. The three of us always have such a good time. The main reason I'm going to visit this time is to check out the Body Worlds exhibit at the Science Centre. This is also the reason Taylor isn't coming with me this weekend. He has no desire to see the dead bodies.

Mmmmmm... lunch is going to be so good tomorrow!

Derailment... but I can't stop to care about it now

2008-07-24T12:15:00.006-06:00

Well Taylor is still not doing well at his job at the Power Company (Taylor = Husband). He's still going to have to quit because he's just not making enough money. His step dad is trying to get him on with his construction company, so we'll see how that goes. His job situation/money situation is SO STRESSFUL that I can't think about it. Because thinking about it would mean I'd have a mental meltdown and I just don't have the strength for that. I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing, and see what happens, day by day.

Today I got this sweet magazine in my mail. Well not MY mail, but my WORK mail. I've seen it before but it never looked too interesting so I didn't bother to flip through. Today I noticed this article and totally thought of the blogosphere. I thought the article was super informative, but I think the subject of the article is a SELF-CENTERED WHORE but, ya know, to each their own. Obviously she's doing something right since she's on the cover the August 2008 issue.

Because c'mon... who doesn't want to be famous?

Julia Allison of xojulia.com

Photo: Platon

A step in the right direction!

2008-07-22T09:17:00.002-06:00

Oh finally! Yay, at long last!

I accomplished something last night. Something small, but it feels really good.

Ok, so the background information goes like this. At work, I make lists. I make lists about everything little thing, everything big thing, every chore, that needs doing.

And it never gets done.

I always end up getting home from work, having dinner, and then crashing on the couch watching tv, or going to lay in bed and read a book.

But not last night! Last night I had just a few little things I told myself I would get done.

-Two loads of laundry
-Scoop the kitty litter
-Change all the garbages in the house
-Sort all the mail and pay the bills, and balance bank accounts

And you know what folks? I actually did it. I did all the things on my list. And it feels GREAT! I also packed my lunch so I didn't have to worry about it this morning, and Hubby forgot to take out the big garbage bag on his way out the door this morning, so I got that mess out too.

I'm just so happy and less stressed to have those things done because I know it makes the rest of my week that much better. Especially since I need to get everything done DURING this week since I'm driving up to Edmonton to visit my mom this weekend and I don't want to leave Hubby with a messy house and list of things to do.

Now if I only I can get up and exercise when I say I'm going to....

Another summer weekend gone by...

2008-07-21T09:29:00.002-06:00

The Husband and I have been talking about going to Banff and doing this Johnston (or is it Johnson? No T?) Canyon hike up to the ink pots for WEEKS! But every weekend we say we're going to do it, it's raining, or other stuff comes up, or whatever. So this past Sunday, we were like ok, enough is enough. It's beautiful outside, we're going. So we had breakfast, packed a day trip bag, filled up the car with gas and hit the road! Only to turn back approximately 3.3 minutes later when my car almost stalled out and the engine light came on. We decided we didn't want to get stuck in Banff so we took my car over to Husband's parents house to work on it in their garage. We changed the spark plugs, oil, filter, blah blah blah. So I'm happy my car is at least all tuned up. What I am NOT happy about is spending ANOTHER WEEKEND HANGING OUT WITH MY IN-LAWS! Frickin holy jeebus. I'm glad I'm going to visit my own mother in Edmonton next weekend so I don't have to spend anymore time sitting around waiting for Husband to be done working on my car, his brother's care, his step-dad's truck, his own truck... Nope, I'm hitting the road on my own next weekend.

There were some good points to this past weekend however. My friend K Doll had a nice little house party on Friday night. It was her first time being single in FIVE YEARS so she partied a little too hard, and peaked a little too soon and spent the rest of the night worshipping the porcelain gods.

Saturday night Hubby and I decided to do an impromptu dinner and a movie which was good. We finally went out and saw Hancock. It wasn't bad, and I totally didn't expect the plot to turn out the way it did. (Although Hubby guessed it from the moment Charlize Theron came on screen!)

So the weekend wasn't a complete loss. However, I got NO chores done, and missed out on that hike AGAIN! I'm thinking it will be another two weeks before we try for that hike again. Maybe August long weekend IF something doesn't come up.

I have lots to do around the house, and lots of things I want to get done for myself. I want to get my SAIT course done by September 12th, so I can write my test and then completely enjoy my week long vacation without having to do homework. And I also really want to (want to, and actually DOING... two very different things my friend) start hitting the gym so maybe I can lost a few pounds before my vacation too.

Also, me and the Hubby have our first wedding anniversary on August 12th. That's... uh.. 21 days away! Holy crap, I thought I had more time than that. Anyways, we're not planning on really doing gifts since we have no money, but I was thinking I might get some of our black and white wedding photos enlarged and framed for our bedroom. Hubby really loves black and white photos so I thought that might be something small he would like. Other than that, it's going to be cheap champaign and dinner at home baby!

GRRRRRR!!!

2008-07-18T09:09:00.002-06:00

I'm pretty sure I haven't mentioned this before, but I'm taking distance education courses through SAIT to do my Library Operations Assisstant Certificate. I really want the whole Library Technician Diploma, but you actually have to go to school to do that. The certificate is all of the technician diploma that you can do from home, so I'm going with that.

Anyways, I'm doing my very first course right now which is LIBR 200 Introduction to Libraries. Of course, since I've been working in a library setting since 2005, so far it's been pretty easy. I've only completed my first module and it was like "This is a book. This is the book's cover. This is what CD-ROM stands for." So, needless to say it was pretty basic. Actually, the whole module only took me 2 hours to read it all, do the assignment and write the test. I emailed in my test answers to my instructor on Tuesday and he just emailed me back to say I got 18/19 on the test. I'm happy I did well, but I am pissed I got anything wrong at all because it was SO EASY! ARGH! I'm going to have to go over it when I got home.

Also, I pointed out a mistake in the reading to my instructor, so that made me feel like a goody-fuckin-two-shoes. Pffft, oh well. I'm determined to get over 90% in all my modules for this course.

Oh and another thng...

2008-07-17T10:58:00.002-06:00

A couple we know that was married the year before us is pregnant. I'm happy for them in that the guy is 32 and the wife is 23 so they should probably get started on things. But on the other hand, (which is really the majority of my brain, that part that is COMPLETELY irrational and unforgiveably SELFISH!) I am insanely jelous. And heartbroken. This couple are... I don't even know how to describe it. Here's a glimpse... On their wedding day, they both snorted a bunch of coke to calm them down to go through with it. The first time I met the bride she was rubbing her nose uncontrollably, sniffing and unable to make steady eye contact. I had no idea what was wrong with her until my Husband informed me that they were both notoriously into drugs. The next time I saw her after that, we were at their house for a little get together on Christmas Eve. The wife was absolutely smashed, broke her husband's stereo system on purpose and then screamed at everyone to get out of the house. When we were leaving, she broke the screen door because she was so drunk she thought it wasn't closed.

So anyways, I'm happy (not) for them, but I just feel like they don't deserve it, and here we are wanting a family so bad but just can't afford it.

Hurts my heart is all. Even though I'm irrational and selfish and jealous. I'm also just a little bit sad.

Curl up in a ball on the couch? OR You know, go outside and actually take a walk?

2008-07-17T10:44:00.002-06:00

I'm hopeing you know I picked the couch option.

Last night, Husband went to bed at 6:30pm. Yes, that's right. SIX THIRTY PEOPLE! This is understandable as I don't think he will ever get used to waking up at 4:45am, and we also didn't really get any sort of rest or relaxation on the weekend, and were up late the night before watching The Bank Job (not a bad movie, lots of twists, based on real events). So, a little while after dinner and trying to work on his Physics course, he crawled onto our bed fully clothed and passed out.

I'm glad he got some much needed sleep. However... I WAS SO BORED ALL NIGHT! All I kept thinking was "Wow this sucks. What should I do? I can't leave because if he wakes up and I'm not here he'll panic. I should do an exercise DVD. At least something good for myself. Well, no because I don't want to turn up the volume and wake him up. Yeah, keep telling yourself that, you excuse ridden fatso."

So what did I end up doing? You guessed it. Laying on the couch watching tv DEBATING with MYSELF over what I should do. Talk about lame.

The only good thing was that I did one load of laundry (but I didn't fold it. It's still sitting in the dryer gettting all wrinkly which totally pisses me off) and I email my instructor my answers to the Module 1 test. Haven't heard back from him yet about what my grade was. I don't even know if he'll email me back to tell me, he'll probably post it online and I'll just have to go check it myself.

Ok, so I stayed up til 11 watching crap tv and having an internal debate. THEN, this morning when Husband got up at 4:45am after his 10 hour sleep? I GOT UP WITH HIM! What the hell. Way too early. I was tired as hell but had a shit sleep because I had no one to talk to and was just yapping to myself all night trying to fight off the boredom (which didn't work, by the way). So I'm up, and back on the living room couch at 4:45am. Have a short chat with Husband as he covers me with a blanket and leaves at 5am. I'm back to being on the couch fighting with myself about what I should do. I could do a TurboJam dvd. Nope, too tired. I could wash the dishes in the sink. Nope, because... well I just plain don't want to. I layed there until 7 O'CLOCK (I need to leave the house by 7:30) thinking about what I should do until I had no more time left and had to get in the shower and come to work.

All this laying around thinking about what I SHOULD do and NOT doing it is pretty typical of me. And I HATE that. I can't help but think how much better a person I would be if I spent less time thinking and more time actually DOING! I'd probably be much further into my coursework, have a cleaner house, less stress, and be in better shape. *Sigh*

Here's hoping tonight I DO SOMETHING!

...and now

2008-07-15T12:23:00.002-06:00

Now that the stressful money situation is a little bit out of my mind, I've started to re-focus on other things. I have noticed that I absolutely cannot focus on my work. All this week so far, and the majority of last week as well, I've been pretty useless. Just sitting here (yes, I am at work right not, and NOT focusing!) keeping the chair warm. This is bad because a) I have a LOT of work on my desk that needs doing, and b) I like getting things done. I'm just not feeling it this last little while. Now that I've been off birth control for more than a year and I feel like my body has really regained it's natural state, I've started noticing patterns. My moods, sleep patterns, and brain activity are COMPLETELY dependent on where I'm at in my cycle. For about 2 weeks after flow time has stopped I cannot sleep, cannot focus, and feel generally yucky. I feel like I'm getting a cold, but really I'm just tired. My mood sucks and I get distracted extremely easily (hence, blogging right now when I'm litterally in the middle of a DSP check-in). A little while before flow time starts I actually start to feel really great, wanna kick ass and take names at work and generally feel pretty normal. Then, leading right up to flow time, OMG. Can't get enough sleep, so so so tired, hungry and crabby. Want to shoot husband and hole up somewhere by myself and not come out. Then flow starts and I actually feel normal again. Then flow ends and I am distracted and yucky.

So, this is great. I can recognize that things relate to my cycle, I know where I'm at and why. But can I do anything about it? NO! I'm a slave to the hormones and I do and feel whatever or however they tell me! I wish I could be like, wow I'm not doing so great at work today, time to buck up! But I just can't. It's a horrible feeling and I don't like not having control over it.

I've started thinking that maybe exercise is the key. I have zero energy and by back hurts ALL. THE. TIME. And maybe getting up and moving around would really help cure me of this kind of stuff. Plus everyone knows moving around and exercising releases all those good chemicals in your brain to get you happy again. But like I said, do you think I can actually get myself to do this? Absolutely not.

I can't follow this train of thought any longer as I am now once again distracted.

--Hormone. Slave.--

...waiting with baited breath

2008-07-14T09:24:00.002-06:00

Husband still hasn't heard anything about the part-time job he applied for. I'm hoping his mom really did drop off his resume like she said she would and is really trying to help. Sometimes I wonder if she's not secretely sabotaging things for him. But oh well, I hope it works out.

As for myself, I applied for 2 part-time jobs that looked interesting. Hopefully I will hear something back too. I also received in the mail $1100 that my mom and my aunt had pulled together for me to bail Husband out of the hole. I put $100 on my Visa and $100 on my line of credit and the rest in Husband's bank account. He is now only 42 bucks in the hole which is great. I didn't tell him where the money really came from, only that I had it and was willing to use it to help out his situtation. That money has really helped take some stress off both of us and am I deeply thankful to my mom and my aunt for all their help and support.

I really hope this can be a turning point for us and things can start moving up and forward. We are feeling much better about things and our moods and relationship are reflecting this. We've started talking about possibly going on a trip next spring if we are able to save up enough money. At least we have something to look forward to, and a little less to worry about.

... and then there was light

2008-07-11T08:54:00.002-06:00

Well I think stress is finally giving way to little glimmers of hope. Husband heard about a possible part-time job from his mom and has applied for it. If he can get that job, everything will be OK. Keep your fingers crossed and me in your prayers. We really need this.

I'm hoping that we can make it through the next 5 months alive. All we need to do is stick this rough patch out until January 2009 when I will be done paying Revenue Canada and will have enough money in my budget to cover the bills that Husband can't pay. And he's just gotta work hard and persevere.

Like I said, I'm starting to have a little hope.

Just so... so... sad

2008-07-09T11:09:00.004-06:00

The pressure that our financial situation is putting on our relationship, our communication with each other, our day to day activities and thoughts, indeed our lives feels completely out of control. My mom has phoned twice and each time I've ended up sobbing from the pain, stress and frustration. She tells me to take actions that I've already told Husband and he won't do. Everything she suggested, I've already suggested to Husband and he has shut down. I have ideas of how we can make this work but he's completely against everything I suggest. My mom finally suggested we seek out some personal financial counseling. That way the advice I think Husband needs to hear might have some effect coming from a neutral and reliable source. I really want him to try and make this job at the Power Company work as it would be great for both of our futures. There are many opportunities there and although it's a struggle right now, in 4 years it could be amazing. Also, I don't think there is anything for him out there that is better. Most places have a starting wage lower than what he's making now and with limited education and no experience with anything other than radiography, he's not going to find something better. I'm completely exhausted and fed up trying to get him to face reality and get out of his dream world. He has a warped perception of money and has always gone for the quick money. Which has left him in the position he is in now. If he had gone into a trade right out of high school, he'd be set by now. But he's just trying to start out now and seems to think he should be making more money doing so. He's so unrealistic and stubborn and stupid when it comes to this stuff that it's really getting on my last nerve. He won't take any advice or help, and he's too ignorant in these areas to realize what he's doing to his own future.

We need help. I hope I can get us some and I hope husband will take it. I need him to go full tilt on improving our lives because I can't do it alone anymore.

On it goes...

2008-07-08T13:05:00.002-06:00

Well my mom has offered to help me out a little bit financially for the short term. I haven't asked her how much she can help me with, and I haven't asked her for any specific amount. I think I could use about $400 to just cover my extra Revenue Canada payment this month. Husband pays the mortgage, and insurance part of our expenses, and I apy all other bills. I can afford my half of the bills, but I can't cover what Husband can't afford. So anyways, maybe our bills will at least work out. Still have no idea where Husband is going to work. He worked tons of over-time yesterday and today, and if that were a regular thing we could probably afford for him to work there. But we'll have to see.

... road to ... Nowhere???

2008-07-07T11:01:00.002-06:00

We're still struggling. We still have no money, and no way out. Husband is now looking for new work as his new job at the Power Company is not covering our expenses. Things are so, so hard. A new job would be ok if he's getting paid enough and working enough hours, but I'm doubtful. I also will feel really bad about Husband quitting his job at the Power Company as he got this job through a friend of mine at work, and I'm afraid of how that will affect our friendship. We've been to their house for dinner a few times to discuss his job and her husband went out on a limb to help Husband out, but now he's going to quit. The whole situation just really sucks. I don't know how to solve any of it and I don't know how or when it will get any better. I'm just so sad.

... because things never really go quite your way...

2008-06-27T13:20:00.003-06:00

I keep thinking of this time in me and my husband's life as the time that will make the good times really feel good.... when the good times actually show up.

As I said before, Husband has now started his new job at the Power Company and it's going fairly well. He finds it pretty boring, but hey, at least he's getting up everyday to actually go to work and we don't have to wonder when the next pay check is going to be. The thing is even though we know when this paycheck is coming, these paychecks actually suck. Like really suck. Like Husband's bank account is in the motha-effin RED and has been for a few weeks. He is so so stressed, and it's really straining everything. I'm ok with only buying what we absolutely need, and not going out, but not being able to buy groceries? I think that's going too far. I never expected to actually put off eating because we can't afford food. It has made me question if buying a house this past February was really the right thing to do, and if Husband's new job was really a good choice. It's sad and hurtful and we have no where to turn. Neither of our parents can afford to do anything to help us, and we already have huge loans. We're stuck... drowning.

What doesn't help my stress level is the minuscule chance of a pregnancy possibility. I won't call it a pregnancy scare because it wouldn't be an unwelcome pregnancy, it would just be really hard and kinda bad timing. Husband has hard enough time controlling his stress level right now. If I told him I was pregnant I'd be scared he'd have a nervous breakdown he'd be worrying so much about how we'd afford it. I think the chances I'm pregnant are extremely low though so I'm not too worried, it's just still in the back of my mind.

I just came back from my lunch break and am feeling extremely sleepy due to my A&W indulgence. This afternoon is going to be rough.

Keep on rollin'!

2008-06-12T11:26:00.003-06:00

Well H has started his new job with the Power Company now. Things seem to be going pretty well, he's working Mon-Thur, 10hr days. And he works rain or shine, so that's excellent. Steady work is sure different for him. And so is getting up at 5am! Him having to get up early is KILLING ME! I NEED that extra hour, and I can't fall back to sleep once he's gotten up. I am invariably actually awake before his alarm goes off, in twisted anticipation of the robotic psycho beeping.

But, other than that, H seems to be adpating well to his new work environment. It sounds like some of the guys he works with are pretty dumb and completely lacking any sort of ambition, which H cannot understand as he is the polar opposite. H has enrolled in some online courses to upgrade his high school math and science in anticipation of upcoming apprenticeship opportunities. I know he's going to need some help with that, but I am proud and happy that he is taking the initiative to get things done. I'm also planning on taking some distance education courses soon so we can be study bums together. Best to do this kind of thing now while we're still young and have the time, because everyone knows things just get harder the longer you put them off. I'm hoping we can both get educated and settled in careers before any kids come along.

In other news, I'm have a Spa Escape party at my house next weekend with a few of the girls. My best friend's step sister sells these BeautiControl bath, body, and makeup products that are really nice, so that will be fun. I've got some people at work to order stuff as well, which is great. And the night before my Spa Escape party I've been invited to a sex toy party, so that will be fun too HAHAHA.

This weekend, husband and I are going to E-town to visit my family. It is my Great Aunt and Uncle's 60th Wedding Anniversary party. I'm really really looking forward to it. Since I don't have grandparents anymore (and haven't since I was like 10) I really like to visit with my grandma's sister. The two of them are so cute and I really loved having them at my wedding last summer. I can't wait to see them again as well as many of my other family members. I've also inherited a china cabinet and a boat load of really old china from my Aunt who passed away when I was quite young. One of my uncles has been hanging on to her stuff for many years and now that I'm an adult with my own home (and I'm the only female grandchild, so obviously I get all this girly stuff) he is passing it on to me. He's planning on moving soon and wants to be rid of it before then. I'm happy to have family heirlooms in my home, but I still haven't the slightest idea where we will put them. Our house really isn't that big, and I don't think a bunch of frilly dishes really matches our style. Not sure what I'm going to do with them yet, but I defintely want to keep them.

I love summer. And I hate working in the summer. However, it has been raining NON-STOP. I HATE IT! I am so sick of wearing my raincoat every damn day. It's supposed to get nice soon, but that sucks too as I have ZERO vacation time until SEPTEMBER! I'm the newest person at my work so therefore I get the last picks for vacation. I don't mind so much that my vacation is in September, I just hate that I have to wait so long for it! It's not like we have any plans though, I'm just going to be bumming around home. But handling everyone else's workload while they're away all of July and August is really going to piss me off. I wish we had the money to go on a trip in September, but with H just starting a new job, and me owing Revenue Canada a couple grand, I don't see us going anywhere. We're just trying to stay afloat!

But we're making the best of it.

I only blog when good things happen...

2008-05-27T11:49:00.003-06:00

... at least that's how it seems to me in this and the last post.

H had his interview at the new company yesterday. Things look great as far as that is concerned. He has two physical exams that he has to pass today, and then he can start work on Monday. I don't think I talked about how he got this position in my last post. This all got started because I was bitching to a friend at work (we will call her L, her husband is M) about H's job sucking and the lack on steady income and how he figured it was time to look elsewhere. At the end of my rant, L says, "Well do you think H would like to work at the Power Company?" which is where her husband, M, works as a manager. I said, I don't know, I would have to find out more about it and talk to H about the apprenticeship program. H has been against apprenticeship programs since they would mean going without pay for several weeks a year. However, with Power Company, they pay for you to go to school and the starting wage was really high. So I tell all of this to H and he sounds interested so I tell him to give M a call. They end up going for lunch to talk about the job and the company a little more. H is still very interested but doesn't know exactly what he would be doing, so we go out to L&M's farm so H can practice climbing a power pole! It was really neat to watch and H did really well. So basically M was impressed, and H is getting hired on there on his recommendation. I am so happy and proud of H and excited for him to start his new career. He will be home every night and there will be a steady pay cheque. Things are clearly looking up.

In other news, our trip to Vancouver Island was FANTASTIC! The weather was absolutely wonderful and we really had a great time. It was really nice to visit with H's family, and meet another of his cousins that was very cool and nice, and I hope she can come visit us soon. It was an awesome trip, and I got to see and touch my first wild starfish! We also got to play around in the "Extreme" waves of the Pacific Ocean and hug the biggest tree in Canada. Vancouver Island is beautiful! And there was so much cool stuff we got to see. I loved it. We both did.

And, as you probably DON'T know... My birthday has recently come and passed. I turned 23 May 21st. It was a nice low key birthday, just hung out at the pub with about 8 close friends. It was a good time.

I started a detox diet on Monday, and it's going to be tough. It's TWELVE (count 'em...12!) days of not eating anything that contains flour, no diary, and a whole bunch of other restrictions. Do you have any idea how many wonderful things contain flour??? All pasta, bread, crackers, chips, cookies, cake... pretty much everything good. So I'm eating berries for breakfast, spinach and lettuce salad for lunch, and meat and rice for dinner... for the next 12 days. Ugh... However, it will be a good start to a new healthy eating diet. I've also starting taking a class called "Lean Cuts" once a week at the yoga studio. It's an hour of high intensity weight-lifting focusing on low weight, and high repetitions. It's insanity. I had my first class last night, and I shit you not, we did 15 minutes straight of weighted squats. Needless to say, I cannot walk, sit, go up stairs or get out of my chair today. And probably won't be able to for several days. But it wasn't just legs, we honestly worked every muscle group in the body and I loved it. It was the greatest work-out I've pretty much ever had, and it only lasts an hour (thank god because there's no way in hell I could do it any longer, I almost collapsed on the way to my car). I'm also continuing with yoga once a week on Thursdays, so I'm hoping between these two classes I will really notice some improvements in my body. I'm trying to get started on my turbo jam dvds as well so I can kick up my cardio level because I really have no endurance or stamina. The goal is to lose 15 lbs in the next 77 days. That means I want to be 145lbs (I'm 5'9" by the way) by our first wedding anniversary. I think it's a decent and attainable goal. I will reassess at that point to decide whether or not I really want to lose 10-15 more pounds after that.

Oh! And! I was so proud of myself and this small accomplishment... after the one hour of bootcamp weights hell last night... I came home... and actually finished doing the laundry. If you knew what a lazy ass I am, this would actually impress you.